Stewart Part 3

I tuned in to The Daily Show last night wondering if there would be mention of Friday's Crossfire appearance. Stewart did talk about it briefly.

He opened the show by saying, "How was your weekend? I had a great weekend. Let's see what did I do on Friday...uhhh...I got a haircut...uhhh...I called a guy a dick on national television..."

He then went on to call Crossfire 'a nuanced public policy analysis show, that is named after the stray bullets that hit innocent bystanders in a gang fight.'

Next he revealed what brought about the Crossfire outburst. "Let's face it, I was dehydrated. It's the Martin Lawrence defense."

After talking about why he really went on the show and said what he did, he said, "They came back at me pretty good... by saying I wasn't being funny. I said, 'I know that. But tomorrow I'll go back to being funny...and your show will still blow.'"

It was very funny, but the real payoff of this episode was Rob Corddry's playoff report from Boston.

It was about a 16-year-old who thinks he was ended the Curse of the Bambino by getting hit in the face by a Manny Ramirez foul ball. The kid believes this because he lives in a house where Babe Ruth used to live. At one point as he's interviewing him, Corddry asks him where his parents are. He tells him they're out of town. Corddry cracks a sly smile and says, "You wanna get high?"

Corddry then goes to a bar where he talks to patrons about the curse and the kid who says he broke it. This is what then happens.

Sox Fan #1 (skeptically)-- "I've caught many balls off the face...look at my face..."

(cut to Pedro Martinez pitching on a nearby TV.)

Sox Fan #2 (who has just finshing pouring himself a beer, and is now laughing mockingly and hysterically, and pointing in his friend's face) -- "YOU JUST SAID...ON NATIONAL TV...THAT YOU CAUGHT MORE BALLS IN THE FACE THAN ANYBODY!!" (then resumes hysterical laughter, with Corddry joining in)

Sox Fan #2 --"That'll break the curse!"

and later...

Sox Fan #1 (over a pitcher of beer) -- "Maybe if we all stop drinking, the Red Sox will win the World Series."

NARRATION: But after 36 beers, and 16 shots of Jager, we came up with a better idea. (One drunk Red Sox fan nonchalantly walks up toward the bar and then suddenly violently shoves Sox Fan #1 (his friend) off his bar stool and onto the floor.) Then cut to two very drunk fans yelling at Corddry:

Sox Fan #2 -- "IF YOU CAN FINALLY, JUST COME ON CAHHDDRY..."

Sox Fan #1 -- "PLEASE!! JUST DO IT!!"

Sox Fan #2 -- "...AND SLAP ME IN THE FACE AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!!!"

Sox Fan #1 --"SLAP HIM AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!! AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!!" (pounding the bar with his fist)

Sox Fan #2 -- "MAYBE THE $#%! RED SOX WILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!"

Sox Fan #1 -- "I'M NOT KIDDING!! AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!! AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!!" (pounding the bar)

Sox Fan #2 -- (pointing with both hands to the rest of the crowd at the bar) "COME ON CAHHDDRY!!! COME ON CAHHDDRY!!!"

Sox Fan #1 -- "AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!! AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!! AS HAHD AS YOU CAN!!!" (still pounding the bar)

(The whole bar is yelling and egging him on.)

Corddry: ALRIGHT!! I"LL DO IT!! (Winds up and slaps Sox Fan #2 as hard as he can.)

NARRATION: The %$#! curse is lifted!

Then they all celebrate.

Maybe the funniest segment I've seen on the Daily Show since Rob Corddry's Boston segment during the Democratic National Convention. For those of you in San Francisco -- I have it on DVR. For the rest of you, tough $#%!, you're going to have to make due with my half-assed transcript. Or try to get some local Red Sox fans to act it out for you. Chances are they'd be more than happy to. I'm looking at you on this one, Zach. But trust me, this segment was so funny, it almost made me want to pull for the Red Sox...hmmmm....nah.