An Interesting Thing Happened at Crossfire

Last night, Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala of CNN's Crossfire welcomed comedian and the pride of my alma mater, Jon Stewart. He was on the show to talk about his new book America. But what ensued was a dead serious lesson on the shortfall of modern journalism that would make fellow William & Mary alumnus Thomas Jefferson proud.

As Carlson and Begala tried to prod Stewart to riff on Bill O'Reilly and vibrators, Stewart refused to take the bait , instead choosing to confront the two anchors on their responsibilities as journalists.

It all started innocently enough with Stewart asking Carlson and Begala why we all have to fight, to laughs from the audience. He asks them both to say something nice about both candidates for President. Then Carlson tries to steer the conversation to whether Kerry was the best the Democrats had to offer. Stewart won't answer what he sees as a loaded question.

STEWART: "I had always thought, in a democracy -- and, again, I don't know -- I've only lived in this country -- that there's a process. They call them primaries. And they don't always go with the best, but they go with whoever won. So is he the best? According to the process,"

Stewart then goes on to point what the two anchors already know, but never say.

"I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely, because, otherwise, shows with titles, such as CROSSFIRE, or "HARDBALL" or "I'm Going to Kick Your Ass" will jump on it." (See Al Gore)

Stewart then goes on to explain that he came on the show because he wanted to say the things that he had been saying about Crossfire to friends and in the media to their faces and to speak to them frankly about it. He then asks them to 'stop hurting America'.

That led to this exchange:

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.

Carlson, now irritated, challenges Stewart by criticizing the type of questions he asked Kerry when he had him on the Daily Show. Stewart does not back down.

STEWART: "If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to...I didn't realize that -- and maybe this explains quite a bit -- that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity. So what I would suggest is, when you talk about you're holding politicians' feet to fire, I think that's disingenuous...But my point is this. If your idea of confronting me is that I don't ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellows."

Begala argues that Crossfire is a debate show and this criticism is like getting on the Weather Channel for focusing on storm fronts. Stewart doesn't miss a beat and delivers a better entertainment metaphor: "No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that's like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition."

Stewart then makes the argument that Crossfire is pure theater, pointing out that the 35-year-old Carlson still wears a bowtie, purey for effect.

Then this priceless exchange:

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one.

The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.

When an exasperated Carlson questions whether they are really talking to JON STEWART here, Stewart replies, "Yes, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore."

After collecting himself over the commercial break, Carlson tries to get Stewart to tell him what he thinks of the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story.

"I'm sorry. I don't," Stewart replies. Begala tries to change the subject as Stewart asks the two, "Where is your moral outrage on this?"

Carlson replies, "I don't have any."

Begala then wants Stewart to tell them which candidate would provide him with better material if elected.

STEWART: "Mr. T. I think he'd be the funniest. I don't...I don't really know. That's kind of not how we look at it. We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful."

Stewart then brings up the absurdity of debate coverage and the fact that networks follow up speeches by going to a place called 'Spin Alley'. Begala and Carlson then proceed to spin the merits of spin jockeys and Spin Alley.

Then this exhange:

CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.

STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

After taking a couple of questions from listeners, they end the show. Stewart is reported to have said, "That went well." as the credits rolled.

I encourage everyone to take a look at the full transcript at http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0410/15/cf.01.html

Jon, you done us all proud. By the way, I could only find two mentions of this story on Nexis -- one in the New York Daily News and one poorly written account in the TV column of the Washington Post. I'm personally anxious to see if Fox News, or CNN, have anything to say.

To me, this story illuminates the purpose of comedians and cartoonists in our culture. And it's is not just to be funny. The best comedians, like Stewart says, are there to point out the absurdities of life. They are not just jokers; they are sociologists, psychologists and commentators on the painful ironies that are so pervasive in our society. Self-righteous blowhards like Carlson, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity see comedians as just above trained chimps, but the sad truth is that these so-called journalists often find themselves overmatched against funnymen. Great comedians have a keen eye for the basic truths, a nose for the absurd and enough self-loathing to not let their own self-aggrandisement cloud their views. That's why we depend on them more today than we have in a long time. Here's to Jon Stewart, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Al Franken, Garry Trudeau, Tom Tomorrow, Mo Rocca, Patton Oswalt, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, David Cross, Sacha Baron Cohen and all the others.