Fox News Guide to Right-Wing Enemies, Part 2

Bill Clinton: Former President Bill Clinton tried to make up for his truly abhorrent marital infidelity by shamelessly sucking up to the 'poor' and 'disadvantaged' during his term. As if affordable healthcare, a booming economy that created millions of jobs, healthy relations with our allies around the world, and eight years without going to war would blind us to his true character!

Hillary Clinton: Hillary Clinton sits slightly to the left of Friedrich Engels and slightly to the right of Karl Marx on the political spectrum. She will definitely be the Democratic candidate for President in 2008. If she wins, she will definitely raise the tax rate to 75%, outlaw the Bible, send shock troops to seize your guns, start marrying gays and human-animal couples on the White House lawn, empty the prisons, open the borders and begin killing newborn baby rabbits immediately upon taking the Oath.

NEA: First of all, we're not comfortable with the word 'endowment'. Secondly, they are always trying to tell us some toilet sitting in the middle of the room is art. We know what art is, like that great picture of those dogs playing poker.

Howard Dean: Eeeeee-yaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

Chris Rock: C'mon, everyone knows that Chris Rock is a racist, right? He hates black people. It's just a good thing they have compassionate, articulate supporters like Sean Hannity to point this out. By the way, to save room in this guide, this definition pertains to any black performer/politician/athlete/celebrity/academic who is not named J.C. Watts or Condoleeza Rice.

Jimmy Carter: The worst President we ever had. Before there were ultra-rich, New England elitist liberals who hated freedom and disdained the good, honest folks in the South and Midwest, there were elitist peanut farming Southern liberals who pandered to the good, honest folks in the South and Midwest by 'being one of them'. Oh, he's supposed to be such a great guy because he walked down Pennsylvania Avenue on his Inauguration Day, fought tirelessly for fair elections in Central America, brokered landmark treaties in the Middle East and the Soviet Union, oversaw important education, transportation, environmental and energy reform, served on a submarine in the Navy, was a nuclear physicist, won a Nobel Peace Prize and then built houses for poor people in Appalachia and started the Carter Center to mediate disputes in third-world countries after he left office.