Tuesday, May 24, 2005

A New Hope

I saw Revenge of the Sith the other night -- and, boy, are those Jedi stupid. For such wise and insightful beings they sure do botch up every single decision they make. Who can blame Darth Skywalker for hitching his wagon to some craggy, deformed dictator guy? Hey wait! Are the Jedi supposed to be the U.N.?! And is Sam Jackson supposed to be Kofi Annan?! Goddamn that George Lucas neoconservative bastard.

On a lighter note, the premiere issue of Radar magazine has hit stands and it is...funny. It's got a bit of Entertaiment Weekly, a bit of Maxim, a bit of old-school Onion, and a bit of McSweeney's, all smeared with the fingerprints of gossip websites like Gawker and Defamer. Highlights of the inaugural issue: An industry poll on the dumbest, meanest and vainest news anchors; a chart outlining the keys to becoming famous in several entertainment industries by doing nothing at all; and the Jaws-esque snark attack that is 'Radar's Guide to the Beach'. From what I have read so far, this new rag looks promising.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Seen

Found on Yahoo! News:

If winning is everything, British anthropologists have some advice: Wear red. Their survey of four sports at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens shows competitors were more likely to win their contests if they wore red uniforms or red body armor.

"Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," report Russell A. Hill and Robert A. Barton of the University of Durham in England. Their findings are in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature.

Red coloration is associated with aggression in many animals. Often it is sexually selected so that scarlet markings signal male dominance.

Just think of the red stripes on the scowling face of the male Mandrill, Africa's largest monkey species. But red is not exclusively a male trait. It's the female black widow spider that is venomous and displays a menacing red dot on her abdomen.

Similarly, the color's effect also may subconsciously intimidate opponents in athletic contests, especially when the athletes are equal in skill and strength, the researchers suggest.
In their survey, the anthropologists analyzed the results of four combat sports at the summer games: boxing, tae kwon do, Greco-Roman wrestling and freestyle wrestling.

In those events, the athletes were randomly assigned red protective gear and other sportwear.

Athletes wearing red gear won more often in 16 of 21 rounds of competition in all four events.

The effect was the same regardless of weight classes, too: 19 of 29 classes had more red winners, and only four rounds had more blue winners.

The red effect also might come into play in team sports.

The anthropologists made a preliminary analysis of the Euro 2004 international soccer tournament, in which teams wore jerseys of different colors in different matches. They found that five teams scored more goals and won more often when they wore shirts that were predominantly red, as opposed to blue or white jerseys.

Scientists don't precisely known how wearing red might give athletes an advantage. But the color delivers implicit messages of vigor and danger. When people get angry, their faces turn red. It's also a reason why stop signs are red. So are most Ferraris.

A case can perhaps be made that most of the recent winners of U.S. sports championships have at least a touch of red on their uniforms: among pro teams, the Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, the Detroit Pistons. And in college sports, the USC Trojans.

But it's the gracious sport of golf that offers the best example. Tiger Woods wears an iconic red shirt on Sundays, the day when most tournaments are won.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Saving Up To Buy SackaMacha.com

Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so cocky about the outcome of the A's/Red Sox series. Though it appears the A's are turning a corner, they are still saddled with some sketchy relief and more importantly, one of the worst managers in baseball.

Ken Macha never looks worried. Sure he may pace a bit, but his expression really doesn't change whether Matt Watson is driving in the game-winning runs (last night), or Juan Cruz is walking the bases full (in his THIRD inning of work tonight).

What I'm getting at here is maybe he should be worried. His team can't score runs. The Red Sox can (despite the 13 they stranded on Monday). Sure his bullpen is a bit depleted with Duchscherer and Calero out, but did Macha really think he was making a winning move by bringing Juan Cruz out for a third inning of work in the eighth? He had Rincon and Huston Street to go to. Street throws strikes and has allowed more than one run in only 1 of his 18 appearances. Cruz has allowed more than one run in 4 of 12 appearances. He had gone to a third inning only once this season -- and guess what -- he gave up four runs, two earned. This is the kind of thing that the fan at home, or in the stands, knows will be a disaster, but is powerless to stop. How many times have you seen a late-game reliever retire the side in his third inning of work? OK, now how many times have you seen that type of guy get lit up in his third inning of work? This isn't rocket science, here.

The previous night Macha brought in Keichi Yabu in relief (who proceeded to get shelled) despite the fact that he was due to start on Thursday. Now I don't necessarily fault Macha for that, but it doesn't jive with his move tonight. Is he looking to win now, or is he making sure his bullpen doesn't get worn out early in the week? Does he even know which he is doing? Is there a small mouse at the controls inside his head like Captain Murphy in Sealab 2021? These are questions we need answered, people.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A's Get Whiff of Victory

Kevin Millar stood at the plate in the bottom of the ninth inning, with Trot Nixon on first. The A's and closer Octavio Dotel were just one out away from a win, but the situation seemed all too familiar, and not in a good way. You see, just six days earlier, toward the beginning of Oakland's losing streak which at present stood at eight, Dotel had been called upon to close out a 2-1 game with Boston, and instead found himself a spectator, watching Millar' batted ball soar over Fenway's Green Monster -- a walk-off home run. The next night, he would watch Jason Varitek's batted ball do the same.

This was a big deal, because A's leads have not been easy to come by so far this season. They rank last in the major leagues in runs scored (which is especially bad since the National League teams must bat their pitchers) and last in batting average (.238, an average worthy of a trip to the minors). It's remarkable, given these statistics, that the A's had managed to win 14 games (out of 37). You can chalk that up to a semi-respectable 4.54 team ERA. But now with staff ace Rich Harden sidelined for at least two weeks and solid middle reliever Justin Duchscherer complaining of back pain, a series with the Red Sox could not have come at a worse time, even it was in Oakland.

But very little of this was going through the mind of Kevin Millar, original Boston Idiot of 'Cowboy Up' fame, as he dug into the batter's box. Oakland had taken the lead in the eighth on a two-RBI single by rookie callup Matt Watson. There's little doubt that Millar had a game-tying home run in mind. Instead Dotel got him to ground into what should have been a routine play at first, but ended up an error. The story of the A's season.

But then again, a game-tying home run it was not, and that had to -- and did --count for something. Dotel managed to strand Millar and close out the 6-4 victory for the A's, only their second the their last 14 games against the Red Sox. More importantly, the eight-game losing streak was over.

Tonight, Barry Zito takes on Matt Clement and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Nothing pleases me more than winning a close one against the Red Sox and their annoying fans, and I'm feeling at least one more, if not a sweep. I think the A's are back on the scent of victory. One good whiff was all they needed.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Coachella!

Signs near the entrance to the Coachella Music and Arts Festival warned concertgoers that a documentary was being filmed and that by entering you were agreeing that your image could be used in the movie. It seemed a pointless gesture, capturing the sixth installment of the festival for posterity's sake. Really, Woodstock this was not. But by the end of the festival's second day, I was wondering when that documentary might be available, so I might check out the footage of The Arcade Fire's -- hold on while I consult the thesaurus -- electrifying, mindblowing, astonishing, overpowering -- and ultimately indescribable set.

The Arcade Fire topped my list of acts to see at the festival, not only because I was -- hold for the thesaurus again -- enchanted, capitvated, enraptured by their debut album, Funeral, but more because I failed to bribe my way in to see them at The Great American Music Hall last time they came to San Francisco. I figured seeing them at Coachella would be a salve for that stinging wound. In actuality, it just made it sting all the worse.

Michael and I had spent the previous two days drinking and whatnot*, sleeping just a few hours the first night in a posh, but noisy West Hollywood hotel room and not much more the next in the front seats of a rented Dodge Durango, so I wasn't sure come noon on Sunday if I would even be conscious for The Arcade Fire's evening performance. But the human body is surprisingly resilient sometimes, and this, lucky for us, was one of those times. Any lethargy that remained entrenched in my body was shaken free the moment the eight-piece Montreal juggernaut took the stage and all began belting out the first measures of the tune that starts all of their shows, appropriately titled "Wake Up".

The Arcade Fire played with a feverous energy that was unrivaled at the festival. Richard Parry and Will Butler pounded away on a drum, cymbals and a motorccyle helmet on the front right side of the stage before climbing the scaffolding to test the pitch of the steel thirty feet above the stage with their drumsticks. Will cut his hand on the climb and played the rest of the show while intermittently sucking on his bleeding fingers and wiping the blood with a towel. The group's string section spend much of the show on the other side of the stage head butting each other. The band tore through most of the songs on Funeral and added "No Cars Go" from their eponymous 2003 EP. Lead singer Win Butler, though agitated by some equipment issues, was still inspired enough to dive into the crowd and then later end the set by hurling his wireless mic 150 feet into the mass of about 4000 adoring fans.

You can check out some pictures here and here.

Oh yeah, and great performances were also turned in by Wilco, Spoon, Black Star, The Secret Machines and Immortal Technique. I also quite liked Sage Francis, who strode out on stage looking like a hip-hop Fidel Castro, though Michael responded by saying I was crazy.


* Please DON'T use your imaginations here, just let it go.