Finally, a Non-Disastrous Election!

Today is a giddy day -- it almost feels too good to be true for those whose political inclinations tilt left of center. Yesterday's drubbing in the House races and governorships was so complete it caused long-shell-shocked Democrats to wonder when the rug will be pulled out from under us.

Then we wake up this afternoon to discover that Donald Rumsfeld has resigned and we have almost definitely taken the Senate. Bush seems dazed, Rove is nowhere to be found, Fox News is facing an existential crisis and Hardball's Chris Matthews is pretending he's been buddy-buddy with the Dems all along.

The Republicans are holding on to hope that there will be a recount in Virginia. This will be a true test of George Allen's already flagging presidential ambitions, as the ability to steal an election is a prerequisite for Republican hopefuls. Unfortunately for him, the Secretary of State in Virginia is a Democrat.

But while the Democrats appear to have a solid majority in the House and look to take the Senate as well, there are nonetheless several disappointing results from yesterday's action.

1. Bob Corker beats Harold Ford Jr. Now we have to ask ourselves, did Corker's incredibly cynical and almost inarguably racist attack ads have an effect on the momentum of the race?

2. California somehow reelects Schwarzenegger. I could have sworn his approval rating was in the 20s not too long ago. One can only assume that Phil Angelides couldn't even get elected to head The International Arabian Horse Association.

3. California votes down funding for alternative energy. Just goes to show how susceptible the populace is to large corporate-backed advertising budgets.

4. Crazed arbiter of the bravery of elected officials Jean Schmidt wins reelection in Ohio. She'll be back in the House railing against yellow-bellied, highly decorated war veterans who happen to be Democrats in no time.

5. Colorado, Idaho, South Carolina, Tennessee, South Dakota, Virginia and Wisconsin vote to ban same-sex marriage. Only Arizona votes down its ban.

6. As was pointed out to The Bossman, Nevada reaffirms its stance that women are suitable for purchase, but not weed. South Dakota also says no to drugs.

7. Arizona takes the bold stand that English should be our national language.

8. Michigan votes to further restrict affirmative action. Bad Michigan! Bad Michigan!

9. Republican John Kyl wins a Senate seat in Arizona that was starting to look like it might go blue. A loss for the left, but a victory for headline writers all over Arizona.

10. Talk about depressing, at last count, 48% or 110,317 of voters in Florida's 16th District saw fit to mark their ballot next to the name of a guy who admitted to inappropriate behavior with 16-year-old House pages.

11. Joe Lieberman's Republican support puts him over the top versus Ned Lamont. Now Joe waits for the Democratic leadership to come begging for his vote. What a sell-out dirtbag.