IT = Incredibly Thinskinned?

I got in a bit of hot water over at my main source of freelance income the other day for requesting a computer upgrade via a perhaps overly snarky email. I thought the IT department would get a kick out of it, what with the tech-nerd inside jokes and all, but turns out I was very much mistaken. The executives were alerted to my boorish behavior and it was suggested that I apologize. Never underestimate the sensitivity of a hardware wrangler.

By the way, all the specs mentioned in the email (below) are accurate.



Dear (Nameless IT Director),

Don't know if you're the appropriate person to email
about this, but I have a request.

I was trying to get on the latest version of the
ARPANET the other day, when I realized that my
company-issued Dell Optiplex GX150 didn't have the
processing power to do much more than talk with my
colleagues on one of those newfangled listservs.

I know that at one point a 933MHz Pentium III
processor was considered the bee's knees, but ever
since some guy came up with Moore's law, I expect
more.

Though I could use an upgrade as soon as possible, I
realize it may take until tomorrow or perhaps Friday
for you to receive this email as my 128MB of RAM are
pretty taxed what with sending this email while
simultaneously having the calculator application open.

Don't know if you have any newer machines, or if
you're interested in upgrading someone who's just
part-time, so feel free to tell me to shove this
request right up my 3.5-inch floppy drive and cram it
in the vast 20GB of storage. That's your prerogative
as the IT director.

If that is the way it must be, then I suggest that we
plan a celebration marking the 6th birthday of the company's
oldest living silicon-based employee.

yours in pre-millennial technology,

Jeff Palfini
Proofreader