The Bossman Cometh

South-by-Southwest linkage

2007-03-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

I have been AWOL for a month now because it's just been so busy in the world of the Bossman. I started blogging for KQED. You can read a post from Noise Pop here, and two posts from South-by-Southwest here and here. And check out my bio here.

In the meantime, Corinne has started a photo blog, or phlog as she refers to it, and has posted some great pictures of some of the acts that rocked Austin last week, as well as a fine picture of yours truly taking a load off after taking in some early-afternoon tuneage.

I'd also like to congratulate my good friend out at the beach on landing a plum gig blogging about music and culture and whatnot for the highly esteemed and highly trafficked Huffington Post, where he joins a staff of bloggers that apparently includes at least one Baldwin brother. (Hint: the one that people still remember.) He hasn't begun posting, but we'll keep you up to date and provide a link when he does. For now, you can continue to bask in his informed taste via The View From Fort Miley.

Please check out all of these blogs while I think of something else to talk about.

Good Hustle!

2007-02-20T12:55:00.000-08:00

There was a time when bands were bands, and if a given one was extremely popular, maybe the singer put out a solo record here and there. These days, if you don't have a band, two side projects and a solo career, you're slacking. This is especially true among Canadians for some reason. Witness the myriad offshoots of The New Pornographers, Wolf Parade, Arcade Fire and Broken Social Scene.

True, Broken Social Scene is such a loosely strung together collective that it begs the question "Can the group of artists brought together to sing 'We Are the World' be considered a band?" In any case, core BSS member Andrew Whiteman does have a band of his own, called Apostle of Hustle, that ostensibly allows him to explore his Latin roots within the indie rock aesthetic.

I've only heard a handful of Apostle of Hustle songs, but it seems to me that the inspiration is drawn from several far-flung genres with a consistent focus on rhythm, and a reliance on a variety of percussive sounds, which lends a Cuban flavor to the music. Judging from the well-baited hook, driving rhythm and dynamic harmonizing of My Sword Hand's Anger (on the new album, National Anthem of Nowhere) and the off-kilter bass-and-percussion-infused electronica of 24 Robbers, as well as the globe-trotting, seven-minute island opera that is Folkloric Feel, Apostle of Hustle is as versatile as its singer.

Why am I writing about them you ask? They will be playing the Mohawk day show at SxSW with Annuals, Imperial Teen and Shearwater on Thursday March 15th. And I'm still knee-deep in my extensive South-by-Southwest preparation.

Another Interesting SxSW Find

2007-02-09T16:40:00.000-08:00

Every red-blooded patriot should be able to get behind the thrust of this song by an oddball Texas punk band (it's the first song listed in the media player) rather curiously dubbed Hug. You may not agree with the singer's assertion that 'George Bush, he a gooood man', but for the love of God, (don't) take the words of the chorus to heart and (don't) go and take matters into your own hands*.

*The Bossman neither agrees nor disagrees with the lyrics in question. But he is entertained nonetheless.

This Moment in SxSW Preparation

2007-02-07T18:03:00.000-08:00

Those familiar with me are well aware that I have a problem -- nay a compulsion -- when it comes to live music appreciation and the scheduling thereof. So in preparation for my upcoming trip to Austin for SxSW, I have undertaken the immense task of listening to all the bands on the preliminary (and unofficial) list of festival performers that I haven't already heard.

As I am spending my days checking out dozens and dozens of bands (500 or so confirmed so far), I thought it might be worthwhile to share a few that I liked along the way.

Today, while trying to get the skinny on the happenin' day-party scene at SxSW, I ran across a band from Cleveland rather provocatively dubbed This Moment In Black History that will be playing the No Idea Records/The Political Party day show on March 15. Perhaps it was their album titles (It Takes a Nation of Assholes to Hold Us Back, Midwesterncuttalistick), which are as entertaining as their name; or maybe it was because they remind me a little of fellow Clevelanders (Clevelandites? Clevelandians?) Pere Ubu, but I found myself listening to their myspace offerings over and over again.

Check them out for yourselves.

I'll be back soon with more bands that caught my ear.

Update! SxSW has released its preliminary list of performers.

Like the Firebird from the Ash, Phoenix!

2007-01-30T09:25:00.000-08:00

Sounds like a good title for Sufjan's 41st album in the 50 States series, 'Oh, My Aching Joints Feel at Home in Arizona'. But that's neither here nor there. Back to the point at hand...

Phoenix, it arises again out of nowhere when you aren't expecting it. Spring Training is back on the minds of the baseball faithful, and for Oakland fans like myself and my friend at the beach, that means pondering a trip to Arizona.

A's fans don't seem to have much to be excited about this Spring, unless you consider watching Mike Piazza DH exciting. Without Barry Zito and Frank Thomas, we can only hope that one or more of the young guys step up and, say, hit .500 or pitch a no-hitter.

I made the trip to Phoenix for the first time two years ago, and, as was my custom at the time, flew solo. O.K., I couldn't find anyone to drag along with me. But it turned out great. Though I didn't have a hotel reservation before hitting town, I met a friendly bartender in the midst of my wanderings who set me up with a discounted room at The Radisson by passing me off as his cousin. The room even had a hot tub, though I couldn't never manage to get any company in it.

Ate at some interesting Phoenix establishments: the dust, oak, white tablecloths, deep red accents and tuxedos of Durant's, where I tried on a neighboring diner's World Series ring; the kicked-back get-down-to-eating vibe at Lo-Lo's Chicken and Waffles, where I crammed myself full of dough, syrup and white meat; and the Havana Cafe, where I tried the Emparedado Cubano with a few East Bay musicians whose acquaintance I made at the ballpark. Also caught a couple of good hip-hop shows (Sage Francis, A-Team) at The Brickhouse -- a pretty decent club over by Alice Cooper's appropriately dubbed sports bar Cooperstown.

This year, my friend at the beach has already made plans to go and even has accommodations at a friend's house -- might even have room for me! Though all the good live music seems to be happening earlier on in March, there's still baseball, and, who knows, maybe something will come up at the Rhythm Room.

Paging Dr. Zach Braff's Character

2007-01-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

As I'm not the best at keeping up with what my friends and acquaintances are doing with their lives (Rick, are you even alive at all?), I just discovered that my erstwhile poker buddy and local bassist-for-hire Dan Carr is now gigging with a 25-year-old local singer-songwriter named Ryan Auffenberg.

Saw that this Auffenberg will play at Noise Pop with Richard Swift and the Watson Twins. And since I have been keeping myself busy studying up on who to go see at Noise Pop this year, I thought I'd check out his music.

I'll keep it simple by saying that if Scrubs needs to find a tune to play when one of their lovably eccentric young doctors is learning a life lesson the hard way, they might look to Mr. Auffenberg's oeuvre. Especially the title track from his latest EP, Under All the Bright Lights.

Don't worry Dr. Zach Braff's Character, you'll get through this OK.

Mike Relm -- Fourth Blue Man?

2007-01-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Maybe he's been watching a few too many reruns of Arrested Development, or maybe he's trying to get in good with the powers-that-be in Vegas so as to land a plum DJ gig at one of the big clubs there. Or maybe it just can't be explained neatly. Whatever the motivation (or delusional manifestation), SF DJ Mike Relm has made the curious decision to join the Blue Man Group on their current tour of arenas across the country.

You may remember Relm's name from his appearance at Noise Pop last year. The 1999 International Turntablist Federation U.S. Champion and Daly City native wowed the crowd at The Independent with a kinetic set comprised of spinning, scratching and mashing up popular party tracks from Michael Jackson to Nirvana to the Beastie Boys while laying down a video accompaniment using an apparatus that allows him to scratch DVDs much like you'd scratch a record. Trust me, it's really a hell of a live show. Since then, Relm has been crisscrossing the country opening for several prominent hip-hop acts, all the while sporting his trademark black glasses, and black suit and tie.

I first noticed the odd pairing with the Blue Man Group yesterday on my weekly search through Pollstar's concert database. You see, BMG and Relm are scheduled to play Oakland Arena on February 10th. A quick Web search returned this music mag, which has more information.

Relm's myspace page reveals that his stint with the face-painters isn't the only strange foray he's undertaken lately. Two days performing at the X-Games in Aspen this weekend will be followed by the arena tour and then another wintersports-related gig opening for Jurassic Five at The Ski & Snowboard Festival in Whistler in April, and finally a trip to Coachella.

He's also been doing the music for a Web-based animated series called Turntable Timmy and providing a couple of remixes for the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. If that wasn't enough, he has been working on an album of original material, the score for the Disney short film Too Many Robots and his recently released live DVD cheekily titled Suit Yourself.

Tobias Funke, eat your heart out.

Festivals, For the Rest of Us

2007-01-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

Bossman has returned from a three-week hiatus that saw him:

1) ringing in the New Year at the newly instated San Francisco after-hours hotspot Prehab (too exclusive to be pictured here)
2) dining with the hoi polloi in Vegas, and
3) co-hatching a plot to hit up the South-By-Southwest Music Festival in a 25-foot rented RV

Yes, that's right. It's that time of year again, when the music industry and various hangers-on (read: me) congregate down in Austin to proclaim our collective relevance, or in some cases, irrelevance. Though the festival is less than two months away, there has been no sign of a preliminary lineup on the official website. Rumor has it they're trying to discourage free daytime shows or something. Luckily, in the Information Age, people don't put up with that kind of bunk. Presumably in this spirit, Austinist.com has printed a compilation of rumors, leaks and educated guesses on some of the acts that will play this year's festival. Make sure to read on through the comments section for a few additions.

But not everyone can get to Austin, so for West Coasters who are jonesing for a multi-day music fix, there are alternatives. Coachella has announced its lineup, which includes many of the usual suspects (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Interpol, The Arcade Fire), along with a smattering of newer names (Peter, Bjorn and John; Grizzly Bear; Pop Levi) and a dusting of established acts that you might not expect to see at an outdoor festival (Rufus Wainwright, Roky Erickson, Ghostface Killah).

Finally, for those that can barely pony up for a MUNI pass (again, me), there's always San Francisco's beloved Noise Pop, which has all but finished assembling its lineup. There's no big name like The Flaming Lips this year (Cake ain't no Flaming Lips, people), but there are some solid small-to-midsize acts like Clinic, Ghostland Observatory, Annuals, Matt & Kim (that's right, Paul, you'll finally have your chance to see them), Trainwreck Riders, Ted Leo, The Dandy Warhols, Sea Wolf, Malajube, Midlake, The Oohlas and, of course, the reunited Sebadoh. The almost-full lineup is here, with a few supporting acts still to be determined.

Looks like my March and April are getting booked up quick.

Quote of the Day

2006-12-29T10:52:00.001-08:00

From TPM Muckraker

Assistant to the President on Counterterrorism, Frances Fragos Townsend, on the so-called 'failure' to capture Bin Laden after six years:

"Well, I'm not sure -- it's a success that hasn't occurred yet. I don't know that I view that as a failure."

Priceless.

Giants Shock the City By Signing Someone Under 35!

2006-12-29T09:20:00.000-08:00

It jolted me out of my walking slumber when I heard it on the TV in my local coffee shop this morning -- Barry Zito signing a seven-year contract with the Giants! I think most A's fans had just become so accustomed to the idea of Zito being a Texas Ranger next year that this announcement took most of us by surprise.

So this is good news. Not only will we still be able to follow Zito closely, but the A's will only have to face him a couple times a year at most. And he won't be winning games for another team in our division. In fact, in a few years, Zito will be playing closer to the Coliseum than any of his now-former teammates.

But it comes as a bit of a surprise. For one thing, the Giants shelled out Yankees money for the soft-tossing lefty -- $126 million over 7 years with an $18 million option and $7 million buyout in 2014. Not to mention that Zito seems a little young for the geriatric Giants. Their signing of 35-year-old Ryan Klesko and resignings of 35-year-old Ray Durham and 42-year-old Barry Bonds only serve to underscore their recent insistence on a casket-aged roster.

Granted, Zito has never missed a start -- something that was beginning to become more of a concern with their previous ace Jason Schmidt. Zito's also only 28 years old. His curve will baffle NL hitters -- at least for a season or two -- and he'll be pitching in a pitcher's park. He's certainly used to having no offensive support, but will likely suffer a bit from a somewhat downgraded defense.

In any case, it seems likely that he will see more success in San Francisco than Mark Mulder saw in St. Louis or Tim Hudson saw in Atlanta. But that, of course, remains to be seen. As does how Barry will fare when he has to compete with Mayor Gavin Newsom and washed-up 'rocker' Stephan Jenkins for the city's eligible 19-year-old women.

OK, Get Ready!

2006-12-22T23:40:00.000-08:00

It may be a while before the Human Giant MTV series premieres, so we must focus our comedic appreciation elsewhere. May I suggest The Naked Trucker and T-Bones Show? It's about to kick off its run on Comedy Central on January 17th.

The show originated from a sketch comedy/music performance piece that has kept Dave Allen and David Koechner returning to Largo (a music venue/comedy club on Fairfax Ave. in Hollywood) once a month for the last several years.

You may recognize Koechner's name and/or visage from such landmark films as Anchorman, Talladega Nights and Dukes of Hazzard, and TV shows like The Office and Saturday Night Live. But you can expect him to be twice as funny when he sheds the restraints of the secondary character actor.

And if it's anywhere near as funny as the live performance, I'd say I might have a new reason to turn on Comedy Central -- one that that doesn't involve someone named Stewart or Colbert.

Divine Intervention

2006-12-15T14:02:00.000-08:00

So it will soon be everywhere I'm sure, but for my friends who don't spend their days on music blogs, we now have the first single from The Arcade Fire's long-awaited sophomore album.

Called Intervention, it features the "huge fuckin' pipe organ" that Win wrote about on the band's site back in June (follow the Win link on the home page to his scrapbook and go to the June and July postings).

I'll spare you my opinions and let you enjoy for yourselves, courtesy of 'You Ain't No Picasso'.

P.S. It has also been pointed out to me that you can access this song sans Internet (though how would you be reading this right now unless you were already on) at 1-800-NEON-BIBLE. In case you were wondering, Neon Bible is said to be the title of the upcoming album. You will reach a menu that asks you to press 7777 for a special message -- which is, in fact, the song.

Livin' Large in Los Angeles

2006-12-12T19:59:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles is much like I left it almost seven years ago. The Westsiders won't set foot on the Eastside (Zach!) and the Eastsiders still don't like to go west of Doheny. My friends all live out by the beach, but I'm partial to the Eastside, so I went ahead and got a room at The Standard Downtown for the beginning of the trip. It was one of the coolest rooms I've ever stayed in. That's it, up at the top of the page.

As always, there was a musical component to the trip. An early-week Joanna Newsom show at Malibu Performing Arts Center was surprisingly good, and the weekend art opening for Cold War Kids bassist Matt Maust was chock full of beautiful young hipsters. I felt like a creepy old college professor, but at least there was free beer and some pretty good blues covers sung by Cold War Kids frontman Nathan Willett. I had to leave early as the previously mentioned Hunter S. Thompson photography opening was taking place across town.

The rest of the week saw me criss-crossing the city in search of good food, drink, art, music and, as the Irish term it, craic. Had a very tasty Southern Style Pan Fried Chicken with Sauteed Spinach at Engine Co. No. 28, richly flavored Eggs Hussarde at Pacific Dining Car, didn't eat the reportedly great sushi at R23, but had fascinating Speck/Rugula and Lardo pizzas at Mario Batali and Nancy Silverton's Pizzeria Mozza. Revisited the killer Bloody Mary at The Ivy, had some truly great BBQ pork ribs at JnJ Burger Shack. I also found time to hit up my old standby Fatburger and the truly creepy downtown Clifton's Cafeteria.

Ended my trip with a great Egg Nog and Spice cupcake at Sprinkles in Beverly Hills, at which point, I had a singularly Los Angeles experience. While pulling through a light in West Hollywood, I looked back to see a huge Hummer pulling through the intersection behind me. A young guy who looked like a rapper who had just signed his first contract was behind the wheel. When he turned left, I saw for the first time that not only was he driving a giant Hummer, the Hummer was also towing a brand new 40-foot boat. Talk about Big Pimpin'.

Despite all my efforts, including spending a night at the Ritz in Marina del Rey courtesy of my good friend Boris, and waking up to play tennis, hit up room service and lie in the hot tub the next day, this guy had me beat hands-down. That's just the way it is in Los Angeles, where living big is the utmost form of expression.

Supporting The Arts

2006-12-07T12:49:00.000-08:00

It seems that my brain-wave transmissions are finally getting through to the appropriate powers-that-be in Hollywood, on Broadway and in the Bay Area theatrical community.

I first realized this might be true in October of last year when I heard, straight from the mouth of the latter-day Brendan Behan himself, that Johnny Depp would be starring in and producing a film adaptation of J.P. Donleavy's The Ginger Man. You can't believe everything that falls from the lips of an Irishman with a glass of whiskey in his hand, but further research bore out the gist of his story.

It appears that though the novel squeaked into the Top 100 Modern Novels as ranked by Random House several years back, there has never been a successful film adaptation. That may still be the case as, for the most part, the Internet has been strangely silent on the details of the current project, leading one to believe it might be in jeopardy.

Then I heard from my friend Boris in New York that the footlights in the Booth Theatre on Broadway will soon shine on a theatrical production of Joan Didion's 'The Year of Magical Thinking'. A astonishingly frank and genuine account of the author's struggle with the sudden and unexpected loss of the love of her life and the near-loss of her only daughter (she would recover briefly and then succumb to acute pancreatis) is one of the literary highlights of the past decade. As a hard-core Didion devotee, I have my doubts about this one, despite the fact that Joan herself penned the script. I'm just not sure that Vanessa Redgrave, or anyone for that matter, can pull off a convincing portrayal of the singular Ms. Didion.

Finally, I stumbled across a gallery opening in Beverly Hills last week showcasing some of Hunter S. Thompson's photography. Largely self-portraits and intimate shots of his first wife and son in the picturesque landscapes in which they have lived over the years, the exhibit also included some candid shots of the Hell's Angels, as well as the infamous self-portrait of Hunter after suffering a savage beating at the hands of the biker gang. The opening was packed with beautiful people and also drew Fear and Loathing bit player Harry Dean Stanton. This must have been a portent, because days later, back in San Francisco, I happened to see a flyer for a local theater production of a play called Gonzo celebrating the life and times of the Good Doctor.

What with the upcoming film version of Bret Easton Ellis' Glamorama, it looks like a good year for the boss and arts appreciation. So with a nod to a couple of my friends in the film industry, I say bravo to 2007, the year of the shrewd producer!

George Will is Full of S#@%!

2006-12-05T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Bossman has been on hiatus for a little while, spending some time down in his old stomping ground -- Los Angeles. Actually, I didn't really do much stomping down there then, but I'm trying to make up for it now. I'll fill you in on the trip shortly.

But first, I would like to share this ridiculous piece written by right-wing prig and Washington Post columnist George Will. Will recounts an exchange between President Bush and Virginia Senator-elect Jim Webb, but fiddles with the wording to make his point that Webb was intentionally and inexplicably rude to the President, which apparently is a no-no within the mannerly confines of the Beltway.

Some have responded that messing with direct quotes and omitting key phrases is a journalism school 101 no-no. And though it's often done to correct poor grammar or to convey the actual intent of the speaker using fewer words, Will clearly crossed a line through his omissions, as TPM Cafe points out.

Then, with no sense of the irony, he gets all college-English-professor on Webb, parsing the language of an excerpt of his writing to prove that, though once a practiced speaker, Webb is now careless and sometimes even rude. Shocking to be sure -- even if Will couldn't even approach convincing with his argument. Rather, he expects us to share his outrage that Webb might want to point out widening class divisions with some slight rhetorical flourish. And he wants us to censure the Senator for the high crime of misusing the word 'literally'.

They say those who can't do teach. More accurately here, those who can't do -- or teach -- become Washington Post columnists.

Web 2.0 is for Music Lovers

2006-11-20T22:17:00.000-08:00

My friend at the beach just got his first cell phone last week, but he nevertheless prides himself on having graduated months ago to Web 2.0. I myself have been cellular for...well, almost three years, but can't seem to advance past Web 1.5.

Yes, I've got a blog, but I haven't settled on a focus and I don't post my own digital images. Sure, I have a wiki to enable a writing collaboration, but it's password-protected (so Web 1.0!). I read several blogs and online news sources, but haven't bothered setting up a single RSS feed.

Likewise, I have a sonicliving account to track live music in the Bay Area, but still depend on my largely analog social calendar. My fog-swaddled friend chides me for it, this flirting with the promise of Web 2.0, but not following through. Instead of spending hours writing up a list of the next three months worth of shows, I could type in a few dozen bands and venues into any one of the several sites created for this purpose, like track50, upcoming.org, last.fm and Pollstar and let Web 2.0 do the work for me.

Do I have a lot of time to kill? Am I holding onto a nostalgia for some aspects of the analog world? Do I want to feel like I'm creating something, choosing the shows that I attend rather than having them tube-fed to me? Or am I just plain lazy and noncommittal? Is it (e) all of the above?

Eh, who's got time to think of these things, it's almost time for the headcount in my personal prison of pen and paper.

Kelly Clarkson Ups the Wattage

2006-11-20T15:49:00.000-08:00

Johnny Marr joining Modest Mouse, that's one thing. But the image above is something altogether different. If I didn't see it on Pitchfork, I'd never believe it.

Someone alert the guys at the Advanced Theory blog*.

*For an explanation of The Advanced Theory, see this Chuck Klosterman piece from 2004.

Oh Hipsters, Where Art Thou?

2006-11-13T11:11:00.000-08:00

It was decidedly not cool to be seen at The Dixie Hummingbirds show at Great American Music Hall on Sunday. There was no line of artfully dressed kids with asymmetrical haircuts waiting for the chance to score extras from the puffed-up ticketholders at will call. There were no 21-year-olds from Santa Cruz lamenting their inability to get on TicketWeb before the show sold out. And though KUSF did offer a pair of tickets to the show during their Friday afternoon Garage Sale, it is unclear whether anyone had actually shown up to claim them.

In fact, the sidewalk was eerily empty and the venue not much different. Among the six dozen or so people that attended the show were about ten or twelve people under 50. The audience was predominantly white, largely male, and of retirement age.

Paul and I encountered the same scenario back in October of 2002 when we witnessed Solomon Burke's mindblowing performance at Great American along with probably the same 70 or so people. Sunday's show was nearly as memorable, as Paul conveyed much more eloquently than I could hope to on his blog yesterday.

Why was this show, one of the best I've seen this year, not on the hipster music lover's radar? As Paul notes, he was the only Sonicliving user to express interest in the show. On further inspection, only two people have expressed interest in the Dixie Hummingbirds among the site's thousands of users -- myself and someone named Luke. In contrast, The Shins have 592 fans on the site, Postal Service 512 and Interpol 472.

If hipsters pride themselves on having a broad palette when it comes to musical tastes, why do they sport such an egregious blind spot when it comes to genres like Soul, Gospel and Jazz?

The hypotheses are wide-ranging. It has been postulated in some circles, and not without some anecdotal evidence, that despite appearing to take cues from black culture, your run-of-the-mill hipster is really at odds with, confused by, and even afraid of black culture. I can't think of many experiences I have had that would put the lie to this idea, but then again, the hipster does exhibit at least a passing interest in hip-hop, though hipster tastes tend to run away from the more earnest artists and toward the self-conscious and ironic acts in the genre like Handsome Boy Modeling School and Lady Sovereign. And the audiences at these shows skew white, middle-to-upper-middle class.

Another hypothesis has it that Jazz, Gospel and Soul are more or less nostalgic and relatively static genres at this point. Some will obviously disagree here. Feel free to jump in, Paul. But that hasn't stopped hipsters listening to rock 'n roll, supporting 70s revival bands -- of which crowd Wolfmother are the current darling -- or buying new releases from past-their-prime acts like New York Dolls and Pere Ubu.

So how does one explain the fact that hipsters will cram into the Hollywood Bowl to see Brian Wilson perform 'Smile', but nary a one shows up to see gospel and soul living legends of the caliber described above?

Is it because the shows and bands in question have not been sanctioned by the all-important tastemakers? Or is it rather that hipsters share an all-consuming fear of being caught at the wrong show? While they ridicule the masses for taking what is spoon-fed to them by corporate-owned radio and big advertising, hipsters blaze a new path by taking their cues from a few select websites and blogs, as well as...uh...certain radio stations. But different stations, different magazines. Some even not owned by corporations. So, if you're keeping track, the cachet lies in some Statement of Ownership document on file with in the basement of the SEC. Disney doesn't dictate my musical tastes! New Times Media does!

But my high horse has begun to saunter off the trail.

Truth is, it was nice not to have to fight the crowds to see a great show last Sunday, but it is a bit depressing for the state of the American musical landscape that our compatriots in Europe are still better and more thorough at sifting through our music and finding the gems than we are. You can bet that The Dixie Hummingbirds, and certainly Solomon Burke, have a built-in audience over there. It's sad to think that acts like this have to earn their living flying back and forth to The Netherlands.

A Tale of Two Ditties

2006-11-13T09:21:00.000-08:00

As has often occurred in my many years of appreciating a diverse range of musical genres, I sensed last night, as I looked around the sparse, seated crowd gathered to see the Dixie Hummingbirds at Great American Music Hall, that I was almost certainly the only one who had been to, or even considered going to, the Kool Keith show at Mezzanine the night before.

Granted it was a Sunday, but this here was an early-evening crowd. Dinner at 5:30, a drink or two, take in a show, and be home and in bed before 11. They wouldn't have cottoned to the previous night's schedule. Not many people would, which brings me to one of the the central problems with rap shows.

My friend Paul out at the beach has a pet peeve when it comes to live music. He doesn't like to be misled about when the show is going to start. An all-too-common problem at rock shows, it's taken to a whole new level by the rap community.

When I arrived at the Mezzanine at 11 pm, admittedly already a bit tired, the act on stage was already riling the crowd with promises that Kool Keith would soon be taking the stage. Their last words to the crowd suggested that he would be next up. Another act, a 'special guest' and a couple of upstart 'friends' who must have been owed favors later, and it was 10 minutes of 1 am, and no sign of 'The Black Elvis'. He finally took the stage at 12:55 after several of the aforementioned guests and friends made the crowd jump through a series of hoops -- chants, hand waving, cheers -- so many, in fact, that you'd think that James Brown was appearing next on a double bill with Jesus. Some in the crowd had grown restless enough by this point to either leave or shout epithets at the calvalcade of pseudocelebrities parading across the stage.

In contrast, when I arrived 15 minutes after the scheduled start time for the Dixie Hummingbirds/Emmitt Powell and the Gospel Elites show on Sunday, the opening act had been on for -- who could have guessed -- 15 minutes. As Paul might have remarked, it was an oasis of civilization in the vast desert of artists' contempt for fans.

Why should the paying fans be compelled to work harder than the musicians? Why should they have to beg them to get their ass out of the backstage area, their noses out of the food spread -- or whatever else someone might have their nose in backstage -- and go out and do what the crowd is paying to see them do? Why must the crowd endure an unscheduled amateur hour of all the artist's friends, relatives, creditors, bookies or whoever else can strongarm him into five minutes with the mic?

The sad part is, the Kool Keith show, while not sold out, was pretty full and drew an energetic, young crowd. Don't get me wrong, he put on a pretty good show when he finally took the stage. But the Dixie Hummingbirds absolutely killed -- delivering one of the most rewarding and memorable shows of the year to a significantly older crowd numbering in the dozens. My friend at the beach and I were reminded of a Solomon Burke performance a few years back, also at the Great American, that drew about the same number. Two of the better performances I've seen in San Francisco, both completely escaping the imagination of the youth. We were among the probably ten or fifteen people under 50 that attended the show that were not wearing a Great American Music Hall Staff t-shirt. That's just a plain shame for all those youngsters who missed it.

You can read a great account of the show here. And next time you see a gospel or soul show advertised at Great American, do yourself a favor, don't miss it.

Oh A's! A's Oh!

2006-11-11T11:16:00.000-08:00

What in God's Great Dominion in happening with the OAKLAND A's these days? A spirited and longer-than-usual run through the playoffs notwithstanding, their behavior has been very erratic of late.

First they allow Ron Washington, their infield instructor and third-base coach of 11 years, to take a managerial job elswhere in baseball. And not just in the National League or another AL division, but with the young and dangerous AL West rival Texas Rangers! Players have expressed their happiness that Wash will have the opportunity to pass his knowledge on to a whole new set of players, but how happy will they be when Texas is heading to the playoffs in a few years and the A's are spending October trying to ascertain whether there is any kind of nightlife in Fremont? (Hint: There's not.)

That brings me to the second piece of news. Rumors abound that the A's have finalized plans to move 25 miles to the south of Oakland and very likely will change their name (currently The OAKLAND Athletics) to correspond with their new home city, the name of which escapes me at the moment.

What will they think of next? It's a scary proposition, because they have several other big decisions to make this off-season, including whether to resign Frank Thomas and Barry Zito, not to mention naming a replacement for outgoing manager Ken Macha. The way things have been developing lately, I fully expect their choice to be Dusty Baker...or maybe Ken Mehlman.

Hey Charles Krauthammer...

2006-11-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

Wanted to pass on this fantastic piece of writing found on The Huffington Post.

Oh Macaca!

2006-11-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

How fitting that the battle for the Senate came down to 'Macaca'. If George Allen had kept his mouth shut about the young Webb aide who was videotaping his campaign trail appearance on August 11th, instead of feeling the need to ridicule him -- well, Dick Cheney would be breaking ties in the Senate for the next two years. Instead, Allen and many other Republicans just couldn't help themselves in the waning months of this election season. I guess there's only so long that you can hide your character flaws -- and those the Republicans have in spades.

So the left would like to take this opportunity to thank S.R. Sidarth for being the flint that ignited George Allen's three-month-long self-immolation. And those 16-year-olds in the Congressional Page program for being too damn tasty for Mark Foley to resist. Also Ray Meier for showing absolutely no respect for the intelligence of his constituents. And why not Conrad Burns, for just being Conrad Burns. And Rick Santorum for finally making it crystal clear to his constituents how his name made it to the Urban Dictionary. While we're on that subject, why not throw in thanks for now former GOP Congressman Chris 'Count' Chocola of Indiana.

But I can't bring myself to thank Don Sherwood, who rightfully got the boot after it came out that he not only kept a mistress, but continually assaulted her over the course of a five-year affair.

Finally, a Non-Disastrous Election!

2006-11-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

Today is a giddy day -- it almost feels too good to be true for those whose political inclinations tilt left of center. Yesterday's drubbing in the House races and governorships was so complete it caused long-shell-shocked Democrats to wonder when the rug will be pulled out from under us.

Then we wake up this afternoon to discover that Donald Rumsfeld has resigned and we have almost definitely taken the Senate. Bush seems dazed, Rove is nowhere to be found, Fox News is facing an existential crisis and Hardball's Chris Matthews is pretending he's been buddy-buddy with the Dems all along.

The Republicans are holding on to hope that there will be a recount in Virginia. This will be a true test of George Allen's already flagging presidential ambitions, as the ability to steal an election is a prerequisite for Republican hopefuls. Unfortunately for him, the Secretary of State in Virginia is a Democrat.

But while the Democrats appear to have a solid majority in the House and look to take the Senate as well, there are nonetheless several disappointing results from yesterday's action.

1. Bob Corker beats Harold Ford Jr. Now we have to ask ourselves, did Corker's incredibly cynical and almost inarguably racist attack ads have an effect on the momentum of the race?

2. California somehow reelects Schwarzenegger. I could have sworn his approval rating was in the 20s not too long ago. One can only assume that Phil Angelides couldn't even get elected to head The International Arabian Horse Association.

3. California votes down funding for alternative energy. Just goes to show how susceptible the populace is to large corporate-backed advertising budgets.

4. Crazed arbiter of the bravery of elected officials Jean Schmidt wins reelection in Ohio. She'll be back in the House railing against yellow-bellied, highly decorated war veterans who happen to be Democrats in no time.

5. Colorado, Idaho, South Carolina, Tennessee, South Dakota, Virginia and Wisconsin vote to ban same-sex marriage. Only Arizona votes down its ban.

6. As was pointed out to The Bossman, Nevada reaffirms its stance that women are suitable for purchase, but not weed. South Dakota also says no to drugs.

7. Arizona takes the bold stand that English should be our national language.

8. Michigan votes to further restrict affirmative action. Bad Michigan! Bad Michigan!

9. Republican John Kyl wins a Senate seat in Arizona that was starting to look like it might go blue. A loss for the left, but a victory for headline writers all over Arizona.

10. Talk about depressing, at last count, 48% or 110,317 of voters in Florida's 16th District saw fit to mark their ballot next to the name of a guy who admitted to inappropriate behavior with 16-year-old House pages.

11. Joe Lieberman's Republican support puts him over the top versus Ned Lamont. Now Joe waits for the Democratic leadership to come begging for his vote. What a sell-out dirtbag.

Meth, Boytoys in The White House?

2006-11-03T17:02:00.000-08:00

The left was upset, and rightfully so, with John Kerry last week when he landed his goofy ass on national TV sticking his foot back where he kept it most of the 2004 campaign, thus breaking the string of 87 straight Republican missteps without a single Democratic distraction.

But with the way that the GOP's family values have been coming home to roost lately, it couldn't last. This week, yet another sweaty, teeth-gnashing sex scandal on the right, with evangelical Ted Haggard admitting to buying crystal meth (but not actually taking it) and getting 'massages' from a male prostitute.

As Think Progress reports, our President and/or his aides have met with Haggard on a weekly basis, and he was reputed to be very tight with Bush. Haggard himself has said "I’m a right-wing religious conservative...I joke that the only disagreement I have with George Bush is on what type of truck to drive.”

So does that mean we can conclude that GW also enjoys massages from working men and likes to get a little tweaked every once in a while? Well, we know he used to be into the coke, how much of a stretch would it be to move on to crystal? And someone in The White House was giving Jeff Gannon a daily press pass, was there more to the story than his softball questions in the press room?

Are the rest of us finally getting clued in on what it means to be 'born again'?

Not Midterms Again!

2006-11-01T11:02:00.000-08:00

Well, the midterm elections are just six days off, and the left has reason for some guarded optimism. Depending on whom you consult, Democrats are expected to win somewhere between 7 and 230 new seats in the House and between 3 and all 55 Republican seats in the Senate.

The GOP is clearly reeling from the Foley page-fishing scandal, the failure of their Iraq policy, the strong* economy, the effects of the Abramoff scandal, the harsh light that Hurricane Katrina shed on the woeful socioeconomic and racial gaps in this country, the fiscal disaster of their economic policies, the woeful cynicism and outright lack of respect for the intellect of the electorate as embodied in their political advertising, their nearsightedness on international diplomacy and environmental issues, the hypocrisy of their stance on 'family values', their shameless plays on racial sensitivities both in campaign speeches and ads, their small-minded view on immigration, and the foul stench of sleaze, hatefulness and small-minded fear mongering that generally follows them wherever they go.

Meanwhile, the approval rating of the Republican-controlled Congress falls somewhere between the numbers for Dick Cheney and Idi Amin. The Republicans are trying to distance themselves from the increasing obvious failures of their Commander-in-Chief, but even the notoriously lazy American electorate is just conscious enough to realize they've given these guys six years to try out their ideas and have gotten nothing back but excuses and pleas for patience. The cynical plays on peoples' fears and the less-than-accurate attacks on anyone or anything that threatens them are no longer producing the desired effect. The people have finally realized that when the baby answers to Damien and has three sixes emblazoned on his scalp, it make sense to throw it out with the bathwater. And with that realization, we may finally be turning a corner. Hopefully not the same corner we thought we were turning back in 2004.

That having been said, here's the current list of Bossman's Nov. 7 endorsements:

National Offices
The Bossman did not punch his ballot (or more accurately, connect any arrows) for the Senate and House primaries as the woefully uninspiring Dianne Feinstein and Nancy Pelosi were running unopposed. Now that there are a few choices, I'll take the Greens, Todd Chretien for Senate and Krissy Keefer for House District 8.

State Offices & Propositions
Governor -- Phil Angelides (as Michael Dukakis was to GHW Bush, Angelides is to Schwarzenegger); Lt. Governor -- John Garamendi (Don't really care about Lt. Governor, we learned how much they really do from watching Benson, but I'd rather not see Tom McClintock one heartbeat away from running the state)

1A -- no; 1B -- yes; 1C -- yes; 1D -- yes; 1E -- yes; 83 -- no; 84 -- yes; 85 -- no; 86 -- no; 87 -- yes; 88 -- yes; 89 -- yes; 90 -- no

We only disagreed with The Bay Guardian on two State Props: 1B and 86. 1B is a costly bond measure aimed at repairing roads. The Guardian thinks it is too much cost for too little long-term benefit. I think it's better than waiting in vain for Sacramento to come up with a truly forward-thinking alternative. Prop 86 is a tax on cigarettes that The Guardian admits is regressive (meaning it disproportionally affects the poor). They argue that the money raised will go to programs that benefit the poor, so that makes it worth it. That argument doesn't fly for me. We should be funding those programs with the financial support of all taxpayers, not just the poor. Sounds like a classic case of we know how to spend their money better than they do.

Local Measures
Yes to All (A-K)

*Does not reflect the realities of some subgroups of the American electorate including: the poor, the lower middle class, the middle class, the upper middle class and the marginally rich.

Another Double-Take

2006-10-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

Speaking of doppelgangers...oh no, wait, that actually is Tyson of Two Gallants (on right) appearing for his court date in Houston -- not his doppelganger, the old-time Southern lawyer. Actually sort of reminds me of when Mel Gibson played Frankenstein's evil twin with the pencil-thin mustache and effete British accent on Saturday Night Live. 'Poppycock! Of course I'm Frankenstein!"

Doppelganger

2006-10-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Someone named Chad Pickett from the Chicago satellite office of Haggin Marketing, my main source of income.

Neo-Hippies Lounge by the Lake

2006-10-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

There was a time a few decades ago when San Francisco was teeming with hippies, folkies, eccentrics and exhibitionists of all stripes. You couldn't walk a block of Haight Street without catching a waft of patchouli or picking up on the beat of mini bongoes. Over the years, the numbers of this contingent have dwindled so as to be almost just a memory, but recently they seem to be cropping up all over the place once again -- as evidenced by the turnout to this past weekend's Mission Lake Project Bike Race and BBQ.

The event was an effort by local art gallery Southern Exposure and some artists/organizers to raise awareness about the natural history of the Mission District. The centerpiece of the project, a large blue line traced the border of what used to be Lago Dolores, served as the route for a bike race, interrupted by scavenger hunt-like stops at key historical and geological sites.

When I arrived for the event, there they were, thronging in the Mission Playground on Valencia and 20th.

Hippies.

Or rather neo-hippies. Dozens of them. Expressing their individuality. Some half-clothed. Some with bulky backpacks. Some with children in tow. All bemoaning the onslaught of urban development.

I had been feeling the resurgence of the hippie in the last few years what with the renewed popularity of folk music brought on by Devendra Banhart, Vetiver, Espers, Joanna Newsom and others. But never before had I gazed in the face of the neo-hippie so directly.

There were the bicyclists clad only in tightie-whities who went by the tongue-in-cheek moniker Critical Ass. There was the hulking goon of a man -- who bore a striking resemblance to the mute sidekick of General Zod in Superman II -- all done up like a pompadoured bumblebee. There were the pair of Method-acting 'real estate agents' hawking fictional lakefront property. There was music, games for the kids and BBQ.

There was also, however, a noticeable dearth of pot-related odors, but no shortage of high spirits, Merry Prankster-esque behavior and general love and concern for one's brother -- the prototypical cornerstones of hippiedom that can so easily get under the non-hippie's skin. But strangely enough, it worked. It was a good time. A tasty one-dollar cheeseburger, cold beverage and long lounge on the grass later and I felt satisfied. Dead lake or no dead lake, it had been a pretty good day.

The Hold Steady vs. Lightning Rod

2006-10-18T19:55:00.000-07:00

If it's physically possible for an indie rock band to draw energy in on themselves, I'd wager that The Hold Steady hold the patent for the technology.

What started out a typical Tuesday evening performance at Great American Music Hall quickly became an electric night of stage diving; climbing all over equipment; pounding whiskey, wine and beer; welcoming half the audience to the stage to play instruments and dance, and finally loading their equipment, heading to the Hemlock, and closing down the joint as fights broke out on the sidewalk.

All the while, the night seem to be hurtling forward on the kinetic fuel supplied by the band. I'll admit, I'm merely a casual fan of their music. They don't fall anywhere near the top of my bands-to-see list. But by 2 a.m., I was buying into the whole deal.

In the course of four hours, we watched guitarist Tad Kubler dive into the crowd, get handed a beer by someone in the balcony as he stood atop the speaker system, and later help singer Craig Finn pull dozens of people onto the stage handing several of them guitars to play. My good friend out at the beach managed to get in a few licks before all was said and done. We then learned that the spastic energy on stage came from a laid back and down-to-earth group of guys who invited a few of us over to the Hemlock to get some drinks with them, where finally we got to break up a real knock-down, drag out fight while closing down the joint.

What more can you ask for from a night of rock 'n roll? I can think of a few things, but we'll leave those for another Tuesday. Maybe next time The Hold Steady come to town.

2006-10-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

Well, they can't say that Two Gallants have had it easy their whole lives anymore. Having once been ridiculed by some terrible hack of a poet on Pitchfork Media as pretentious West Coast indie rockers who knew nothing of the 'enraged sheriffs' and 'luckless roustabouts' about whom they sang, the SF indie punk/folk duo gained a measure of street cred in Houston last Friday. Street cred they'd probably rather have left for someone else.

Seems an out-of-control, chip-on-shoulder law officer decided to treat a routine noise complaint more like a kick-in-the-door drug factory raid. Somewhere in the midst of getting accosted on stage for no apparent reason, taking the brunt of excessive force (including a few doses of a taser gun), being cuffed, and being thrown in jail along with several fans and friends on trumped-up charges, I have a feeling that the Gallants might have picked up a few more insights about the plight of oppressed minorities in the South. Perhaps Mr. Howe will keep that in mind if and when he reviews their next album.

But seriously. The video of the incident is evidence of what a bizarre and disturbing scene it was. One cop trying to show a whole crowd of college students and skinny, twenty-something indie rockers who was really running the show. There was the requisite defiance in the face of authority and cursing out the pigs, but that not withstanding, Officer Rodriguez had no business making like Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse and trying to take on the whole room himself. Dealing solely with management surely would have sufficed.

But he may learn that the hard way as he mistakenly tasered a fourteen-year-old boy who was at the show with his father and 12-year-old sister, something which generally doesn't go over well with the community at large, the media or the legal system for that matter. A few publications seem to buy the police department's story that the officer was in danger, but the vast majority of outlets seem to side with the band. This time the enraged sheriff might just get his due.

Publications of all stripes have picked up the story. For God's sake, even the right-wing nuts over at Free Republic seem sympathetic with the band. That can't bode well for the Houston Police Department.

Meanwhile, in what must have been a stab at ironic humor, Pitchfork followed the news of the Friday's chaos with an MP3 of Two Gallants' Las Cruces Jail.

Milton Bradley Has Game

2006-10-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

The Bossman had a feeling before the beginning of the ALCS that Milton Bradley would figure prominently for the A's. Too bad he also didn't have a feeling that Bradley's contributions would also lead to the A's actually winning a game or two.

Bradley had a monster day yesterday. The volatile but charismatic right fielder went 4 for 5 with 2 long balls and 4 RBI. Eric Chavez also contributed a solo homer, and Mark Kotsay had a good day at the plate with three hits and two runs.

But the highlights of the game would almost all involve Bradley, who really kept the crowd in the game with his timely home runs, a fourth-inning chest thumping when the crowd saluted him upon his return to right field, long-ball jigs with Swisher and a clutch single in the bottom of the 9th. If only some of that energy could have been transferred to the Big Hurt's bat or Loaiza's psyche.

It was a rollercoaster day at the park, to be sure. Loaiza looked good out of the gate, throwing strikes, keeping his pitch count down and making fairly quick work of the Tigers lineup. But like Zito the other night, when he made a few mistakes, he couldn't hold it together and suffered what seemed like a mental collapse in the fourth.

To be fair, the A's defense was about as reliable as a PG&E technician scheduled for an afternoon appointment. D'Angelo Jimenez should really get 10% of Mark Ellis' next contract for making it so glaringly obvious how much Ellis flawless defense is worth. And even our gold Glove third baseman flubbed an admittedly tough ground ball to the gap between short and third.

And so, as we head into Game 3, the A's have failed precisely where one thought they would thrive -- defense and pitching. It's odd to see the bats cracking and the A's not coming out on top. Here's to hoping that Harden and Haren can turn that around and silence the thunderous (underground) crowd in Detroit.

MTV Turning a Corner?

2006-10-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

MTV has shown a surprising amount of taste and foresight by inking a deal with Human Giant, a comedy team consisting of Bossman-favorite Aziz Ansari, Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel and director Jason Woliner, to create a new series for the network. Word is that the series will premiere in early 2007 and the first season will be comprised of eight half-hour episodes of short films, like those already found on their site.

Anyone who hasn't already checked out Clell Tickle: Indie Marketing Guru, Other Music or Shittiest Mixtape Boombox Blast should do so post-haste. And apparently, they have another short, called The Illusionators, coming up.

I'm hoping that the boys won't be too busy to perform at SF Sketchfest this year. The festival lineup will be announced in mid-December.

High-Wattage Performance

2006-09-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

I thought about writing up a lengthy post about the sublime M. Ward/Mike Watt show at The Fillmore last night, but decided to keep it brief as at least two of my music journalist friends have already done it more justice than I ever could. But hell, I haven't had that good of a time at a Fillmore show since last time Shane MacGowan came to town.

Mike Watt continues to bring the punk well into his late forties, rockin' his thud staff with the enthusiasm and relentless energy of a nineteen-year-old, not even stopping to replace a string broken midway through his set. Didn't matter. He produces a fuller, more dynamic bass line with three strings than most bass players can manage with four, or even five. It doesn't hurt to have M. Ward and former Stooge Steve MacKay available to join you on stage. Watt clearly was excited as well, it appeared to me that he wanted to take a bite out of both Ward's and MacKay's faces at different points in the show. A mindblowing ensemble cover of The Stooges 'Fun House' toward the end of Watt's set seemed like the type of star-studded performance normally reserved for the end of a headliner's set.

It's always perilous to follow a dynamo of an act like Mike Watt and the Secondmen, but what read like an odd pairing actually worked beautifully, as my good friend out by the beach expressed in a much more elegant fashion than I could. Suffice it to say that M. Ward's flawless, throaty, expressive vocals are couched in thoughtful and inventive compositions, a combination that holds it own no matter who the supporting act may be. But since that support was a favorite of the headliner, the pair of them retook the stage for a stirring encore rendition of 'Spoonful'. I'm glad I decided to stay around long enough to see Watt 'lay down the low flow' to buoy Ward's superlative vocals before I grabbed a road soda, and high-tailed it down to The Independent too catch Brooklyn indie buzz band Grizzly Bear's set.

The Wire: Still the Best Show on TV

2006-09-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

Critic's darling and TV 'Pleasure of the Boss' The Wire recently kicked off its fourth season, which will focus on the plight of schools and students in the low-income neighborhoods of Baltimore.

Despite what many,including myself, saw as a creative hiccup in the beginning of Season Three, The Wire has returned to form and regained its place as, far and above, the best and most ambitious undertaking on television.

The show was created by former Baltimore Sun reporter David Simon and erstwhile Baltimore homicide detective and schoolteacher Ed Burns. The pair drew on their experience to create TV's most unapologetically realistic depiction of the intersection of inner-city life and the civic institutions that fail to serve this segment of the citizenry.

The unusually diverse ensemble cast delivers performances of the first water, which is especially impressive considering the large number of younger actors and the many non-professionals culled from the streets of Baltimore. In fact, a former drug kingpin named Melvin Williams, whom Ed Burns arrested as a result of a year-long wiretap like the one conducted in Season One, plays a recurring role as The Deacon, a sage advisor to former police lieutenant Bunny Colvin in the show's current season.

Among the real standouts so far in the Season Four cast are several holdovers from the first three seasons, including British actor Dominic West seamlessly faking a Bal'more accent as Patrolman Jimmy McNulty, JD Williams as corner-running dealer 'Bodie', Michael K. Williams as much-feared stick-up artist Omar Little, Wendell Pierce as homicide detective Bunk Moreland and Irishman Aiden Gillen playing all-too-lily-skinned mayoral hopeful Tommy Carcetti. New additions such as Gbenga Akinnagbe as gang muscle Chris Partlow and Tristan Wilds as reluctant and idealistic 'hopper' Michael Lee help lift the series closer to its Season Two heights.

Maybe this will be the season that the Academy of Television Arts and Whatever finally catches up with the critics and gives this show its due. If not, at least we can celebrate the fact that The Wire has been picked up for a fifth and final season.

All Hail CLIN-TON!

2006-09-25T16:29:00.000-07:00

I watched with much amusement last night as former president Bill Clinton quickly and aggressively knocked Fox News Sunday anchor Chris Wallace off balance in a 15-minute taped interview that aired for the first time yesterday.

At times, it reminded me of the Matt Lauer interview of George W. Bush, with Clinton leaning toward Wallace and using aggressive and intimidating body language. Clinton referred to the interview as a "conservative hit job" and blasted Wallace for having a smirk on his face and thinking he was "so clever". The difference between the Clinton and Bush interviews, however, is that what Clinton said actually makes sense, as well as the minor detail that he has the truth on his side. And while Lauer was tough with Bush, he was not nearly as dismissive and disrespectful of the president as Wallace was with former president Clinton.

Wallace started off the interview with some innocuous questions about Clinton's Global Initiative Conference, but then thought we would throw in a quick sucker-punch in the traditional Fox News 'not me, but some people are asking' style highlighted in Robert Greenwald's documentary Outfoxed.

Wallace: When we announced that you were going to be on "Fox News Sunday," I got a lot of e-mail from viewers. And I've got to say, I was surprised.Most of them wanted me to ask you this question: Why didn't you do more to put bin Laden and Al Qaeda out of business when you were president?

Clinton wasted no time in responding in simple terms, if perhaps in a somewhat agitated and overly defensive manner. He raised and repeated three points:

1. That the neocons who bring up Clinton's withdrawal from Somalia in 1993 as a decision that emboldened Al-Qaida, were the same ones who criticized him for waiting a month after the Blackhawk Down incident to withdraw the troops from that region. Also, no one knew of Al-Qaida in 1993 and there was no real evidence that the U.S. pulling out of Mogadishu aided their cause.

2. That Richard Clarke, who worked to combat terorism in four White Houses, three of which were Republican, said in his book, Against All Enemies, that Clinton was obsessed with getting bin Laden, especially after the African embassy bombings. And that Clarke, who was obviously an invaluable resource in combating terror, was ignored and eventually demoted by the Bush administration.

3. The CIA wouldn't certify that bin Laden was behind the October 2000 attack on the USS Cole before the end of Clinton's presidency (it didn't until after Bush took office in 2001) so he could only send special forces to Afghanistan, a move which the military argued would be ineffective.

Clinton also chided Wallace for repeating the neocon talking points, blaming Clinton for 9/11, while never pressing Bush administration officials on why they put counter-terrorism on the back burner for the first nine months of his presidency, or why they didn't follow up on the Cole bombing once the CIA certified that Al-Qaida was responsible, or why they decided to demote Richard Clarke. Wallace claimed that he had done so, a claim quickly and easily refuted (as is often the case with Fox News claims) by Media Matters.

I would also ask why the Bush administration ignored the Hart-Rudman Report or why they ignored the infamous Aug. 6 President's Daily Brief. But apparently, the more important question for CNN is: Why did Bill Clinton Blow His Top?

A's have done it once again

2006-09-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

Best records in baseball since the All-Star break:

Oakland Athletics: 45-21

Minnesota Twins: 45-24

New York Yankees: 41-25

The A's are likely to clinch a playoff berth tonight or tomorrow, especially since their current series opponents, the Seattle Mariners, haven't beaten the A's in their last 15 tries. Once again, their playoff berth will be due to a scorching second half, just as it was in 2000-2003.

Also, there has been more and more talk of Frank Thomas for MVP, and then there was even this.

IT = Incredibly Thinskinned?

2006-09-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

I got in a bit of hot water over at my main source of freelance income the other day for requesting a computer upgrade via a perhaps overly snarky email. I thought the IT department would get a kick out of it, what with the tech-nerd inside jokes and all, but turns out I was very much mistaken. The executives were alerted to my boorish behavior and it was suggested that I apologize. Never underestimate the sensitivity of a hardware wrangler.

By the way, all the specs mentioned in the email (below) are accurate.

Dear (Nameless IT Director),

Don't know if you're the appropriate person to email
about this, but I have a request.

I was trying to get on the latest version of the
ARPANET the other day, when I realized that my
company-issued Dell Optiplex GX150 didn't have the
processing power to do much more than talk with my
colleagues on one of those newfangled listservs.

I know that at one point a 933MHz Pentium III
processor was considered the bee's knees, but ever
since some guy came up with Moore's law, I expect
more.

Though I could use an upgrade as soon as possible, I
realize it may take until tomorrow or perhaps Friday
for you to receive this email as my 128MB of RAM are
pretty taxed what with sending this email while
simultaneously having the calculator application open.

Don't know if you have any newer machines, or if
you're interested in upgrading someone who's just
part-time, so feel free to tell me to shove this
request right up my 3.5-inch floppy drive and cram it
in the vast 20GB of storage. That's your prerogative
as the IT director.

If that is the way it must be, then I suggest that we
plan a celebration marking the 6th birthday of the company's
oldest living silicon-based employee.

yours in pre-millennial technology,

Jeff Palfini
Proofreader

Et tu, Oignon?

2006-09-20T01:27:00.000-07:00

I want you all to read this, my goodbye email upon leaving The Industry Standard in August 2001:

Area Man Thanks Co-Workers For 'Unforgettable Ride'

Low-profile researcher, Jeff Palfini, a recently laid-off employee of local tech magazine The Industry Standard, thanked his co-workers via e-mail today for 'an unforgettable ride' prompting dozens of the people he was 'proud to work with' to rack their brains to recall who the hell he was.

"I'm pretty sure he was the guy who fixed my computer last week," said one editorial staffer who asked not to be named. 'But whoever he is, he must know me since I got this e-mail saying that he wants to 'keep in touch no matter what happens.'

Human resources expressed similar quizzical feelings.

"I wish I had some inkling of who this guy was," said one Standard HR representative. "It felt a little hollow writing 'we wish you the best of luck in the future' on his dismissal term sheet, under the circumstances."

Palfini, who has been employed at the Standard in one capacity or
another for more than a year, showed up at many company gatherings and parties, but failed to do anything to stand out, instead hovering around the free food tables and ordering two beers at a time at the open bar.

Although Palfini thanked upper management for its 'constant support' and 'a wonderful opportunity', at least one member of the senior management could not recall providing any such thing.

"To be honest, I almost had to check my files to see if we even had an employee with that name at the company," said Standard CEO John Battelle.

"Though I don't remember hiring, firing or ever employing anyone with that name," he continued, "the e-mail did come from jpalfini@thestandard.com, so I guess I must have."

At press time, one Standard employee had reported 'some hazy recollection' of Palfini and his contribution to the magazine. But insiders at the Standard report that this person also claims to have seen Elvis selling hot dogs at a Giants game.

Now I'd like you to read this article from The Onion dated September 8th, 2006.

First there was Joe Biden, then Jayson Blair, later Ann Coulter, and now this. Mr. Onion Writer, you better own up, because I have a response to my goodbye email stamped with a time code, and as we all know, that is very difficult to fake.

I'm warning you, don't fuck with me, or you learn the hard way like some companies in this article did when I got all pro se on dey ass.

Quien es mucho indie?

2006-09-19T16:25:00.000-07:00

Tipo Numero Uno:

o Tipo Numero Dos:

Stoner Tip of the Day

2006-09-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

Frustrated by the 'Smoke-Free Concert' policy at Willie Nelson's shows? Knock on the door of the tour bus, they got plenty.

Stay Gold

2006-09-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

Senator Russell Feingold (D-WI), our choice for President in 2008, spoke out yesterday against the Bush administration's use of dangerous language in the War On Terror. He implored them not to use the words 'Islamic fascism', as it is not only inaccurate but also needlessly inflammatory.

"Fascist ideology doesn't have anything to do with the way global terrorist networks think or operate, and it doesn't have anything to do with the overwhelming majority of Muslims around the world who practice the peaceful teachings of Islam," Feingold said in a speech to the Arab-American Institute.

In just a few short minutes, he sounded almost ridiculously thoughtful and reasonable relative to his colleagues, especially the current occupants of White House.

As if to underscore the point, Bush gave a speech the same day, in which he once again compared Osama bin Laden to Hitler and Lenin.

Lauer's Monday-Morning Journalism

2006-09-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

Maybe he's just a little perturbed that Katie Couric got the nod for the CBS Evening News anchor chair and he's still at the frothy, lightweight Today Show. But Lauer hinted yesterday (perhaps a bit too late), with a tough interview of GW43, that he does carry a bit more journalistic heft than his former co-host.

G-Dub tried to intimidate Lauer by poking at his chest with his finger for the entire interview (seems like it should have worked) but Lauer stayed on him. I imagine that without the sound, the interview would look something like the beginning of a bar fight. By God our president is a smug, condescending SOB.

ABC is History

2006-09-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

ABC aired the first segement of its 'docu-drama' The Path to 9-11 last night. I missed it, much like I missed the first episode of The Wire's fourth season, because I had an appointment with the superb David Berman and his Silver Jews.

As we've all heard over the past couple of weeks, ABC's docudrama is -- how do I say this -- a tall, steaming pile of bullshit. On Salon's Video Dog today, we find a clip from Politically Incorrect where Salon's Joan Walsh, Bill, P.J. O'Rourke and Matchbox 20's Rob Thomas(?) pick through and poke at the aforementioned shitpile.

We also find an amusing sneak peek at some other docudramas ABC might have in the can.

Take a gander and prepare for tonight, when ABC drops a second load of dung (8 pm) into the inside of the shiny talking box in your living room. Or if you're dung-averse, try the replay of The Wire's fourth-season premiere (9 pm, HBO2W) or a replay of a real documentary, Spike Lee's When The Levees Broke (8:15 pm, HBO-E).

It's Hard Out There For a Pimp

2006-09-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

When Three 6 Mafia won an Oscar for the song (title above) from Hustle & Flow, we should have taken it for what it was – a sign of the times. Yep, the writing was finally on the wall for all those pimps out there -- the world’s middlemen – the sharks, hustlers and hucksters.

Who would have thought that they would be among the first lasting victims of the Internet age? I mean, it makes sense, but didn’t we all think they’d wiggle or weasel their way out of it, like always?

That seemed to be the case when Hilary Rosen and the RIAA were bullying 13-year-old kids for file-sharing, high-powered lawyers were trying to drive the Shawn Fannings of the world out of business, or when Lars Ulrich revealed himself to be the Joe Morgan of the music world, unable to grasp how the coming New World Order would benefit him more than the old way ever did.

But a recent Wired article offers up proof that the seeds that were sown by Fanning and others have finally begun to take deep root. Perhaps the populist movement is finally getting the upper hand.

If we believe what we read, now the big four labels are between a rock and a hard place that is suspended over the edge of a bottomless pit of obsolescence. Bands have begun to realize that singles, radio play and deep-pocketed advertising are no longer as important as they once were.

Not many read magazines any more, except older businesspeople that fly a lot. Radio isn’t dead yet, but now people anywhere have access to college radio (via iTunes and the Internet), independent Web radio and the extremely egalitarian podcast. With the Internet becoming the primary means of distribution, what is it that major labels are providing the bands on their roster for all that money they’re pulling out of their pockets? Turns out not very much, just like any good pimp. Well now it’s the ho’s turn.

According to Wired, the labels’ mainstay, CD sales, have dropped 20 percent since 2000, but concert ticket sales have increased 100 percent since 1999. Many bands, both large and small are offering free access to new material through myspace and their own sites. It used to be that only big-label established acts would find their way into car commercials, large music festivals and other big paydays. Now a bit of the youthful frontiersmanship has made its way into marketing boardrooms. Mid-level acts like My Morning Jacket, Modest Mouse, Richard Buckner and the Dandy Warhols have had songs turn up in commercials for formerly staid industrial giants like Ford, Coors Brewing Co. and Volkswagen. Festivals seem eager to keep up with up-and-coming acts rather than trotting out the big draws every summer. While the dinosaurs keep rising ticket prices to counter lackluster sales, fans turn to the cheaper alternative – going online to discover bands that are playing more intimate venues for reasonable prices.

So next time Lars and Metallica play Oakland Arena for 80 or 100 dollars, they just might discover that many of their fans have gone to see Sunn O))) at 12 Galaxies instead.

Sidewalk Rock Critic

2006-09-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

This is one man's opinion. This is one man's opinion who was denied entry to much of DeVotchKa's show at The Independent last month, and all of The Zombies show last night at 12 Galaxies. This is one man's opinion who listened to most of both shows from outside the front door of the respective venues. This is one man's opinion coming from someone who threw such a hissy fit while being barred from the sold-out DeVotchKa show that he lost his balance and fell in the gutter while trying to spike a messenger bag on the sidewalk.

So add as many grains of salt as you need to digest my assertion that if there is one band who sounds superb from the sidewalk outside of a venue, it is DeVotchKa. So great, they might make you throw a hissy fit and fall in a gutter. Their haunting klesmer-tinged folk balladry translates well through the tunnel of a venue entryway, almost as if it was the distant background music you hear in your head when reading a Russian novel, or say the subtlely used score to a thoughtful, moving and funny film starring Steve Carell.

The Zombies, on the other hand, were visible from outside the front door of 12 Galaxies, and if you were just passing by, might be mistaken for a better-than-average bar band. That is, if not for the two gigantic tour buses parked outside the modestly sized venue. Though the sound out on the sidewalk was admittedly worse than it was at The Independent, it was still clear that The Zombies lack the punch that they have on the old albums or even that of the Argent material.

Could the impact have been diffused somewhere between the bar and the doorman's cash drawer? Does the moan of a violin travel better than the bleat of a keyboard? Did Rod Argent and Colin Blunstone look more like rockers and less like the house band from an airport Holiday Inn if you were standing in the actual venue? I can never be sure. These are the grand questions of a sidewalk rock critic.

Tubes!

2006-09-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

Something called 'Net Neutrality' has been in the news lately, though most people probably didn't notice what with the unveiling of Baby Suri, the surprising death of the Crocodile Hunter and Katie Couric's first nightly news broadcast.

Net neutrality is a 'relatively complex' issue, so most news outlets figure the people don't care or won't be able to make heads or tails of it (see Ted Stevens video clip, linked further down). But it boils down to this: Are we willing to sacrifice the level playing field of the Internet so that large content providers can serve up streaming video or MP3s or whatever a bit faster for us?

Telcos want to provide preferential treatment for broadband content providers (in relation to smaller, less deep-pocketed companies and individuals) so that they can command and pay for more bandwidth to serve up, say, commercials, video clips of their TV shows, or footage of Paris Hilton getting wild at some Vegas club.

Democrats have put forth a bill, called the Net Neutrality Act, to put in place guarantees that the telcos can't do this.

Not surprisingly, Republicans fall on the other side of the issue, either because they depend on contributions from the large corporations that would benefit, or because many of them, apparently including Alaskan senator Ted Stevens, have no freakin' clue how the Internet works (Tubes!).

Reminds Me of My Soccer Days

2006-09-05T13:13:00.000-07:00

I haven't heard an insult like this one since I last played soccer almost 20 years ago. Can't recall if the 12-year-old who uttered it got the headbutt that was coming to him.

Suj-fan Makes My Christmas That Much More Bearable

2006-09-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

Sufjan Stevens (sometimes pronounced SUJ-fan Steff-ENS) has decided to put together a Christmas box set, according to Pitchfork. I celebrate every indie rock holiday release, as each one supplants an album's worth of yuletide suffering at the hands of Bing Crosby, Reba McEntire or Andy Williams over the holiday season at my parent's house. I celebrate with gusto when the release in question takes the place of five albums and I can tell my parents that it's Christian rock.

Apparently, MP3s of at least some of the 42 songs on this box set have been around for a year or two.

(photo courtesy of NOW Toronto, 2003 via Brooklyn Vegan)

Merrill Hartson = Karl Rove?

2006-09-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

Liberal media? Are you friggin' kiddin' me?

Wired on the Music Industry

2006-09-04T21:40:00.000-07:00

San Francisco's own Wired Magazine just put out an issue devoted to technology-related changes to the music industry. The two most notable pieces are on a new approach to music marketing and the rise and the ensuing reaction to Pitchfork Media. Both pieces are now available on Wired's website. More commentary to come.

Olbermann Channels Murrow

2006-09-02T14:33:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, Keith Olbermann reminds us how far he's come since his days sitting to the right of Dan Patrick on SportsCenter. This past Wednesday was one of those occasions. His take on Donald Rumsfeld's straw-man argument blasting critics of the Iraq War raised echoes of Edward R. Murrow, an intent Olbermann acknowledges toward the end of the segment. It's really something.

Update!: Now Olbermann has some harsh words for The Decider.

Disturbing Trend of the Week

2006-09-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

Faux links.

This article on Mos Def's arrest that appeared on ContactMusic.com has words in it that appear to be links to more in-depth information on the story. But when you scroll over them, small ads pop up.

And if, God bless you, you happen to click on them before you realize what is going on, you'll be redirected to the advertiser's website. I personally felt like I had been shanghaied.

Mos Def Arrested

2006-09-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Mos Def had his Kanye West moment last night outside the MTV Video Music Awards. But unlike Mr. West, who was merely put through the ringer by the press for his comments during a Red Cross Fundraiser on NBC, Mos ended up being hauled off to jail.

Police said that Mos, whose real name is Dante Smith, was creating unsafe crowd conditions when he pulled up in a flatbed truck in front of Radio City Music Hall and began to perform his slam on Bush and institutional racism titled "Katrina Clap" to a crowd that had begun to gather on the sidewalk. Police asked members of his entourage to halt the performance before starting to make arrests.

It may not have the news-clip replay appeal of "George Bush doesn't care about black people," but Mos has nevertheless managed to draw some attention back to the need that still exists down on the Gulf Coast -- and did so with some style to boot.

Crappy Anniversary

2006-08-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

We just marked the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina devastating New Orleans and the Mississippi coast, and the networks have taken the opportunity to:

a) point out that much still needs to be done
b) renew the call for increased preparedness
c) urge government to address the conditions that allowed so many to be left behind
d) bring on Laura Bush and allow her to offer a rosy view of the situation

You guessed it. Once again, this time on Good Morning America, the Bush family proves just how tone deaf it is. If you needed a reminder, you could check out first-mother Barbara Bush's public-radio interview from the Houston Astrodome soon after Katrina hit.

Despite what the first family thinks, a variety of polls show that most Americans (especially NON-REPUBLICANS) believe that government needs to do a lot more for Katrina victims, and that the city of New Orleans is a long way from OK.

Spike Lee's HBO documentary When the Levees Broke provides an eye-opening account of New Orleans pre- and post-Katrina, highlighting the plight of the poor and disenfranchised, mostly African-American population. Though $100 billion has been allocated by the federal government to help rebuild the Gulf Coast, most of the poorer neighborhoods have seen little or no improvement. Crime is on the rise again, houses remain washed out, residents are slow to return, or are not willing to return at all to a city that has shown little concern for their well-being.

New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are an extremely ugly sore on the face of our democracy -- providing an unwelcome reminder that just because it looks pretty doesn't mean that it has any substance.

To my mind, we can't be remotely proud of our country until the situation in the Gulf Coast is improved. Not just rebuilding homes, repairing businesses and restoring tourism; but also improving the condition of schools, the delivery of social services and the other conditions that led to New Orleans' high crime rate, vast economic disparity and disconnect with the poor.

The pictures that shocked us in August and September of last year have not really changed much since then, other than the fact that you have to go on YouTube or watch a four-hour HBO documentary in order to see them now, rather than just flipping on the network news. The government and the people who buy advertising on the networks clearly would rather we forgot about this problem and got back to cheerily spending our money on luxury goods. And hey, I like luxury as much as the next guy, but maybe we can send a donation to organizations like this one before going out and booking that expensive hotel room or buying a new pair of shoes. We spend all day hearing about victims of this or that unpredictable or uncontrollable crime or disaster. Here are some people we can help.

What Made Milwaukee Famous

2006-08-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

Well, the results are in, and it appears, surprisingly enough, that Milwaukee is the drunkest city in America.

Despite my best efforts, San Francisco barely squeaked into the top twenty. More shocking still is that even with the dozens of cases of Smirnoff Ice consumed each month by my Russian pal Boris, New York only managed number 32.

Boris, a word of advice: As Dorothy Parker once told her husband, "You don't want to become the town drunk, Eddie. Not in Manhattan."

Pitchfork-man vs. Birdmonster

2006-08-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

Pitchfork handed down its review of Birdmonster's new album last Friday with all the respect and deference that Godzilla showed Tokyo back in 1954. Contributor William Bowers heaved vicious indie-rock slurs like 'a jangly Everclear' and 'reeks of Candlebox's heroic chest hair' in an unrelentingly brutal smackdown of an album review.

Anyhow, I wanted to feel righteous anger and resentment toward Pitchfork, akin to what I felt when they slammed Two Gallants' latest, but after visiting some of the newer material on Birdmonster's site, I could muster no outrage.

Though I grew to love their debut EP, the lackluster live shows and disappointing full-length material make the 5.6 that much easier to swallow.

The Falcon, Act II

2006-08-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

Not many people's lives are considered interesting enough to be the subject of a feature film. But even more exclusive are the ranks of those who warrant a sequel by their early fifties.

Those who have seen the 1985 Timothy Hutton/Sean Penn film The Falcon and the Snowman are most likely aware that the film was based on the experiences of Christopher Boyce and Andrew Daulton Lee. Boyce, when 21 years old, had access to many highly classified U.S. government secrets, including troubling information on union infiltration and meddling in electoral politics in Australia. Boyce, already disillusioned with his government, decided that it was time for payback. Employing his friend Andrew Daulton Lee as an intermediary, he began selling secrets (mostly outdated and useless) to the Russians via their embassy in Mexico City. The duo was caught when Lee was wrongfully accused of killing a police officer in Mexico, while in possession of top-secret microfilm. Both men were sentenced to lengthy prison terms in 1977. The movie ends there.

But Boyce managed to break out of Lompoc Federal Prison in California. After watching Escape from Alcatraz with fellow inmates, he mimicked Clint Eastwood's use of a papier-mache dummy to aid in his escape. Boyce then eluded authorities for 19 months, robbing banks to keep money in his pocket. After a couple of close calls, he was turned in by accomplices and returned to prison, where he remained until his release on parole in 2003, following extended efforts by his longtime friend and now wife, Cait.

The Boyces would like to see another movie made about Boyce's life after his 1997 arrest and the efforts to secure his parole. Much of the story can be found in an interview Boyce gave to an Australian version of 60 Minutes as well as message-board posts from Cait Boyce on movie site imdb.com.

For my part, I hope that Boyce's second story is eventually told.

Annuals Got the Buzz

2006-08-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

The music sites and blogs have been bickering over who heard this band first for the last several weeks, and with good reason. What few songs are available on their myspace page (their first album, Be He Me, is due out October 17th on Ace Fu Records) sound pretty damn good. They've drawn comparisons to Arcade Fire, The Hold Steady, Animal Collective and Broken Social Scene -- that is, right before everyone else chimed in that they don't sound anything like any of those bands.

Those ungrateful, lucky-ass New Yorkers will get to see them at Sin-e and Northsix in mid-September and with Art Brut at Irving Plaza in mid-October. Us West Coasters will have to wait indefinitely for a national tour, as usual.

Dude looks just like Beirut's Zach Condon in that picture. Coincidence?

The Sour Apple

2006-08-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

I love New York, and I hope to live there for a year or so before too long, but the more music blogs I read these days, the more it becomes obvious that the music scene in the Big Apple borders perilously on lame.

A quick read of Brooklyn Vegan and its comments section reveals that New Yorkers hated the Sufjan Stevens/David Byrne show at the Beacon Theatre. The Shins sucked at McCarren Park Pool. Beirut is overrated. Deerhoof is annoying. And these are people that supposedly like music enough to spend time reading about it on a blog.

It's a classic case of taking a good situation for granted. New York arguably sees more good music pass through than any other city in the world. Why can't they enjoy it?

One theory is that it is crucial in the New York music scene to be among the first people to like a band, and, soon later, among the first people to suddenly discover that the band has:

a) Been overhyped by the blogs
b) Gotten too tight with David Byrne
c) Watered down their sound in the studio, or
d) Become too plump and soft with success

Another theory is that they take the Fred Ebb lyric 'If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere" a little too seriously.

If there's ice in the arena...

2006-08-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, I reap some measure of benefit from being too lazy to change my homepage from the HP-defaulted AOL.com. Today is one of those days, as the 'good people' at AOL directed me to this video of a batshit-crazy citizen of Charlotte, N.C., who vents his frustrations to the City Council on subjects like putting ice in the arena, placing a helicopter pilot on top of the Most-Wanted List, and bringing a 'chameleon, lemonheaded, coward, terrorist pussy' named George Shin to justice.

For some reason, this guy reminds me of Sean Penn's character, Daulton Lee (pictured above), in The Falcon and the Snowman. Maybe it's the turtleneck and jacket combo. Or the coke-fueled lunacy.

Canadian Rock School

2006-08-25T14:07:00.000-07:00

OK, so I have no pictures of the Wolf Parade show at The Fillmore last night. That's because, other than the one on my cell phone, I have no camera. You see, when I was a lad, I had more than a little trouble grasping the art of documentary photography, and instead chose to focus on a series of partial thumb portraits. Strange those never caught on in the galleries.

Anyhow, pictures or not, I was quite impressed with Wolf Parade's performance last night. It seems like in today's indie-rock landscape, several Canadian bands have figured out what most American and British acts haven't -- how to rock hard in a live setting. Here are a few of the things I've noticed:

-Less preening and posturing: You don't see Dan Boeckner, Win Butler or Dan Bejar emulating Mick Jagger up on stage. It's about the music -- and they seem to like playing it as much as you like hearing it.

-Show more gusto in thrashing equipment: Arcade Fire's Will Butler beats on an old motorcycle helmet...while it's on Richard Reed Parry's head. Wolf Parade's Dante De Caro beat on some raggedy-looking chimes at last night's show until one came unmoored and whizzed across the stage, right by Hadji Bakara's head.

-Kick up the tempo in live setting: It struck me that most of Wolf Parade's up-tempo songs were jacked up a notch last night, making the show that much more dynamic.

-Have more than one songwriter and singer in the band: Arcade Fire have Win and Regine; The New Pornographers have Carl Newman, Neko Case and Bejar; Wolf Parade features both Spencer Krug and Boeckner on lead vocals.

-Switch it up: Arcade Fire is a veritable musical chairs of multi-instrumentalism -- with the band switching instruments more often than your dentist does during a deep cleaning. While Wolf Parade didn't get me as dizzy as that other Montreal act, I admit I was constantly counting tuning knobs.

Irony of the Week

2006-08-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

From the 'Why's The Man Always Trying to Keep Us Down?' department:

Last night, police shut down -- of all things! -- a benefit for the Prison Literature Project that was being held at LoBot Gallery in West Oakland. A rather large gaggle of philanthropic hipsters were said to have been blocking the bustling thoroughfare that connects some rundown old warehouses to some stolen-car chopshops down by the 880. Oh, and I guess there was some very poorly hidden underage drinking going on out on the sidewalk and the adjoining park too.

Patrons were sent packing just minutes before headlining band Japanther (pictured above) took the stage, after some lengthy negotiations between the police and those running the benefit. It's not bad enough that the 5-0s gotta send all these dudes to the hooskow for all their days, now they can't even let us help get some F. Scott Fitzgerald up in that bitch.

Next Stop Horrorland

2006-08-23T15:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big horror film fan. I'll watch them when I go to my buddy Rick's house, who's completely obsessed. Or perhaps possessed. I don't know for sure, because he nevers calls me anymore.

In any case, I may not be able to wax philosophical on the divergent visual aesthetics of Tobe Hooper and George Romero, but I certainly can enjoy the occasional well-written, well-directed gorefest.

Some directors' names I can immediately identify with the horror genre -- Carpenter, Barker, Romero, Argento, Craven, Raimi. Other directors seem to wander into the genre after establishing themselves elsewhere. That seems to be the case these days with one of my favorite directors -- and fellow product of the Connecticut shoreline -- Brad Anderson (pictured above).

If you haven't seen Anderson's early films like Happy Accidents or Next Stop Wonderland, his decision to write and direct an installment of the Showtime series Masters of Horror might make perfect sense, following as it does his dark psychological thriller, The Machinist. But taken with his early bent toward quirky romantic comedies, it seems a bit of a leap. Then again, given the sci-fi-tinged storyline of Happy Accidents and the morose feel of Next Stop Wonderland, maybe it's not so unnatural.

Now pay attention, Rick. Masters of Horror, about to begin its second season, gathers of group of prominent directors -- mostly from the realm of horror filmmaking -- to tell stories that wouldn't pass muster in the current PG-13 world of multiplex slasher flicks. The first season featured films by series creator Mick Garris, Dario Argento, Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Bubba-Ho-Tep), John Carpenter and John Landis, among others. Season Two adds Tom Holland (Fright Night, Child's Play), Ernest Dickerson (Juice) and Anderson to the mix.

Anderson's contribution is titled 'Sounds Like' and was adapted from a short story by Mike O'Driscoll. The one-hour story follows Larry Pearce, a man whose increasingly acute hearing drives him to violent behavior. Pearce is played by The Wire's Season Two standout -- and Emmy snub -- Chris Bauer, aka local union boss Frank Sobotka.

Bauer's gritty yet nuanced acting along with Anderson's pensive and uncompromising writing and direction promise to make this installment of Masters of Horror one for the TiVo, or OnDemand if you send the checks to Comcast. And Rick, I'll see you on November 11th -- have some Pabst in the fridge.

Aziz May Be Bored, But We're Not

2006-08-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

The philosopher Erasmus once said, "Everybody hates a prodigy, detests an old head on young shoulders." I find this to be true in most cases, but really, how can the envious, plodding half-talent be expected to maintain his contempt when the prodigy in question makes him laugh until Newman's Own Virgin Limeade shoots out both nostrils? Salieri never had to deal with that shit.

This brings us to Aziz Ansari, 23 years old, born in South Carolina and currently residing in The Big Apple, where he and other promising local comics (and frequent collaborators), including Eugene Mirman, Paul Scheer and Rob Huebel perform in troupes like The Upright Citizens Brigade and occasionally film segments for VH1's Best Week Ever -- that is when they're not hanging out among, and performing with, their various indie-rocker friends.

In the midst of all this, Aziz has assembled a respectable body of work that's well-documented on YouTube and his own site, azizisbored.com. New York magazine recently named him one of 'The 10 Funniest New Yorkers You've Never Heard Of', to boot.

His growing name recognition stems from the viral success of several video shorts shot with fellow comics lampooning the self-serious and almost-always ridiculous fringes of the entertainment industry. Recently, at the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago, Aziz filmed a hilarious short with buzz band Tapes 'N Tapes about an overzealous music promoter. The video is packed with cameos by indie luminaries like Devendra Banhart, Ted Leo and Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen.

This may be his best work yet, but a search on YouTube turns up some great stand-up on subjects like Kanye West's braggadocio, his obsession with M.I.A., and K-9 cops as well as videos about a shitty mixtape contest and a pair of snotty clerks at Other Music.

I have a new favorite comic.

Quote of the Day

2006-08-18T16:57:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush, apparently oblivious to the irony in his response to a reporter's question about the Israel-Hezbollah conflict:

"The first reaction of course of Hezbollah and its supporters is to declare victory. I guess I would have done the same thing if I were them," Bush said. "Sometimes it takes people awhile to come to the sober realization of what forces create stability and what don't. Hezbollah is a force of instability."

Guess that would be Hezbollah's 'Mission Accomplished" moment.

Update!

2006-07-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

Update to the Update:

Francisco Liriano has been named to replace Jose Contreras on the AL's All-Star roster. Contreras pitched Sunday and wouldn't be available for Tuesday's game. Curt Schilling was first in line, but also pitched on Sunday. And so, Liriano finally gets his due.

Liriano pitched 7 innings of shutout ball today, lowering his ERA to 1.83 and improving his record to 10-1. The seven innings qualify him for the league leaderboard in starting pitching categories and he has immediately assumed the lead in the following categories:

Earned Run Average: 1.83 (Santana 2nd at 2.76)
Walks and Hits per Inning Pitched: 0.97 (Santana 2nd at .99)
Strikeouts per Nine Innings: 10.4 (Kazmir 2nd at 9.77)
Opponent OBP: .257 (Santana 2nd at .260)
Opponent Slugging Percentage: .287 (Lackey 2nd at .305)
Opponent OPS: .544 (Lackey 2nd at .571)
Quality Start Percentage: 80% (Mussina 2nd at 78%)

He assumes second position in Batting Average Against at .201 (Lackey 1st at .195) and second to Jose Contreras in win percentage. He is fourth in the AL in strikeout-to-walk ratio at 4.43.

Punch A.J. indeed.

MLB Major-Market All-Star Game

2006-07-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

It is way past time to abandon the practice of allowing fans to choose the starting lineup and final player on the MLB All-Star rosters. This year was a perfect example of how major markets dominate fan balloting with Yankees, Mets and Red Sox accounting for half of the starters chosen by fans.

All-Star Non-Pitcher Starters by City (18 total):

New York -- 6 (4 Mets, 2 Yankees)
Boston -- 3
Seattle, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Washington, Detroit, St. Louis -- 1 each

To compound the problem, managers of the previous year's World Series teams get to choose 7 of the reserves. And while Houston manager Phil Garner showed some restraint and chose only a very deserving Lance Berkman from his own team, White Sox skipper Ozzie Guillen used the opportunity to select 3 additional White Sox, including the controversial selection of Bobby Jenks as a reliever. The players had already added three White Sox (Jose Contreras, Jim Thome and Jermaine Dye) before Guillen stacked the lineup with his boys. To add insult to injury for small-market teams, the fans selected another White Sox player to fill out the AL lineup.

Today the last two spots were decided by fan voting and Nomar Garciaparra (Los Angeles Dodgers) and A.J. Pierzynski (Chicago White Sox) were selected. Pierzynski mounted a late run thanks to Chicago's South Side and their Punch A.J. campaign. Now while that does have a nice ring to it, and was an irresistible idea for the Cubs' catcher Michael Barrett a few weeks ago, it just doesn't make sense in terms of All-Star voting.

Someone (other than Brian Sabean or Ozzie Guillen) please tell me how in the Hell A.J. Pierzynski is a more deserving All-Star candidate than Minnesota Twins pitching phenom Franicisco Liriano. Sox fans (and Sabean) will no doubt point to his .326 batting average, because everyone loves a high batting average, everyone, that is, other than the millions of people who ignored Joe Mauer's run for .400 to vote for a subpar Jason Varitek.

But to get a fuller picture of who deserves to go, let's take a look at some stats:

'All-Star' A.J. Pierzynski: His .326 batting average is second-best among catchers in the AL. Beyond that he's got nothing. Sixth among AL catchers in OPS, eighth in runs, eighth in RBI, 15th in home runs hit, third in catcher ERA, ninth in caught stealing percentage.

Liriano: Liriano is not yet qualified to rank among league leaders in starting pitching categories. To qualify, he needs to pitch one inning for every game his team has played. He has pitched 81 and 1/3 innings and his team has played 84 games going into today. He is scheduled to start on Saturday, which will be the Twins 86th game. In other words, as long as he pitches 6 innings in the next game, he will officially become a qualified starting pitcher.

For comparison's sake, the median qualified starting pitcher has thrown about 107 innings at this point (3 to 4 more starts than Liriano). That having been said, what if he was qualified (which he will be next week)?

AL Pitching Categories he would lead:

Earned Run Average: 1.99 (Santana 2nd at 2.76)
Walks and Hits per Inning Pitched: 0.97 (Santana 2nd at .99)
Strikeouts per Nine Innings: 10.4 (Kazmir 2nd at 9.77)
Batting Average Against: .203 (Lackey 2nd at .206)
Opponent OBP: .256 (Santana 2nd at .260)
Opponent Slugging Percentage: .292 (Lackey 2nd at .320)
Opponent OPS: .548 (Lackey 2nd at .599)

He would be tied for third with Mike Mussina for Strikeout-to-Walk Ratio at 4.70, behind Schilling (7.79) and Santana (5.70). He would be second in the AL in quality-start percentage behind Mike Mussina and second to Jose Contreras in win percentage. He has already racked up a 9-1 record, just two fewer wins than league leaders Kenny Rogers and Roy Halladay.

He has started 9 games so far and won 8 of them. He picked up his only loss after giving up 3 runs in six innings. In those nine starts, he pitched 59 innings, has a 1.53 ERA, .81 WHIP, 62 strikeouts and 3.88 strikeouts per walk.

If you take out one 3-inning, 5-run relief appearance in late April, his ERA would be 1.44 over 78 innings pitched.

Plus, he isn't an arrogant asshole like Pierzynski.

Someone go ask Giants GM Brian Sabean if he would trade Liriano, Joe Nathan and Boof Bonser for Pierzynski today like he did a few years back. No, ask him if he would trade Liriano today to the White Sox for Pierzynski and Bobby Jenks. I bet I know his answer.

Heads up, Devendra!

2006-06-21T13:35:00.001-07:00

The New York Times is re-trumpeting the rise of freak-folk, music columnists and bloggers are mocking The Grey Lady for being behind the times the first time, and indie fans have moved on long ago.

Now we hear that Devendra bristles at the term freak-folk. Guess what buddy, no one cares either way anymore. It’s all about freak-polka now.

Did anyone notice?

2006-06-12T23:19:00.000-07:00

During a Fox Newsbreak tonight, in the midst of the 11 o'clock showing of Hannity & Colmes, Carol Iovanna introduced a story about the American Medical Association. Specifically, its decision to look at the ethics of physician participation in interrogations at places like Gitmo. The graphic accompanying the story was the AMA logo, under which were the words 'Interrorgation Role'.

You read that right. It said 'In-terror-gation'. Harmless typo? Clever subliminal messaging? Or Fox's collective unconscious making an important admission about the current administration's policies that its collective conscious refuses to recognize?

Zarqawi’s Death a Milestone?

2006-06-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

Reportedly, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi was killed last night in an airstrike on a stronghold in Baqubah. The DNA testing to confirm that the remains are indeed those of Zarqawi is expected to be done in two days.

All of the cable news networks are running almost nonstop coverage on the development, eschewing Brangelina baby pictures, Ann Coulter’s latest rabble-rousing and the freshest Republican corruption for breathless accounts of how this is a turning point in the formation of a stable Iraq and possibly even for victory in the War on Terror.

But who knew who Zarqawi was until we attacked Iraq? In what way are we more safe now than on September 12, 2001? In what way is the Middle East region in better shape?

After almost five years, we still have not captured Osama bin Laden. It has been reported that the remnants of the Taliban in Afghanistan have been gaining strength in that country. In fact, 400 civilians were killed in Afghanistan just last month.

Meanwhile, 763 civilians were reported dead in Iraq last month. (according to the Iraq Body Count Database) Even after Zarqawi’s death, at least 40 people have died today in Baghdad alone, according to Fox News.

It is not one man or even a group of men that stand between the Iraqi government and their pursuit of peace and stability. It is the widely held belief that the U.S. and its allies are meddling in the Middle East in order to gain control of the region’s oil reserves and to advance the cause of the state of Israel.

Both Zarqawi and bin Laden began their military training in Afghanistan when the U.S. backed rebel forces against the Soviet occupation force. Saddam Hussein was our ally in our struggle with Iran in the 80s. We have a complicated relationship with Saudi Arabia, whom we don’t hold to the same standard as other countries in the region. We appear to favor Israel when we should be more impartial in their conflict with the Palestinians. And most importantly, we appear to side with the interests of ChevronTexaco and ExxonMobil over the living, breathing human beings in any of these countries. Until these mixed messages are addressed, we can expect another Zarqawi to emerge, and another after that.

It is not by military domination that we will transform this region, it is by making clear to the people of the Middle East that we are committed to improving their way of life and allowing them complete autonomy given that they respect international law. They have to believe that the same rules apply to us as apply to them when it comes to international relations and commerce.

Let’s face it, no one in the Bush Administration thinks in these terms. To them it is all about forcing their will on others. The father of Zarqawi-beheading victim Nicholas Berg said it best today. The only way we can save the lives of thousands more U.S. troops (and for that matter tens of thousands of Iraqi and Afghan civilians) is to impeach George Bush today. If only.

Slater and the Swayz

2006-06-07T18:29:00.000-07:00

As I've told just about everyone I know, you have to check out the beautiful work that Team Tiger Awesome is doing reinvigorating old sources of amusement like Saved by the Bell's A.C. Slater (aka Mario Lopez) and Conan O'Brien fave film Dirty Dancing.

In 28 Days Slater (a serial in seven parts), actor Mario Lopez (played by some other actor) had a chip implanted in his brain by late NBC honcho Brandon Tartikoff that kicks in each February, causing him to believe that he is Albert Clifford Slater, the character he played in Saved by The Bell.

His poor roommate has to endure the constant 'preppy' taunts, his certainty that his perfect wrestling record will take him everywhere in life, and his uber-confident and cocksure approach with the 'mamas'. So far three mind-bogglingly funny episodes are up on the Team Tiger Awesome site.

The other day, they also posted a hilarious 6-minute silent film version of Dirty Dancing. "This degree of corner'ingation of Baby is all hooey, Senator."

Mystery Box?

2006-06-07T17:47:00.000-07:00

Until yesterday, my only familiarity with the concept of a 'mystery box' involved viewings of the 70s game show 'Let's Make A Deal' or the movie 'Seven'. And neither of those ever turned out well for the recipient.

So imagine my surprise when I saw that people on eBay were bidding hundreds, thousands, even tens of thousands to win the chance to open a box whose contents are unknown to them.

Apparently many eBay sellers are hoping that no one remembers the wah-wah-waaaaah sound that often greeted those who chose the mystery box on Let's Make A Deal, or the Oscar-winner's severed head that stared up at Brad Pitt when he opened his mystery box.

Sellers are quick to point out that you will be bidding on THE BOX, not what is inside. That is just a bonus. Their gift to you. Well I think that's hooey. What kind of box is worth $80,000? Don't answer that.

But do check out my eBay auction on some great waterfront property in Florida I'd like to sell for cheap.

Paris Hilton -- PR Genius

2006-05-12T22:45:00.000-07:00

Ho, ho, ho. All the nuclear physicists/news anchors out there (see my two recent posts) are chortling about Paris Hilton fogetting the name of the new cellphone video game she was unveiling at the E3 conference today. Ha, ha. She called it "Diamondquest" instead of its actual name "Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam"! Oh my, she's not too bright is she. The aforementioned David Asman had a good laugh and cautioned corporations not to let Paris Hilton hawk their products.

These big thinkers somehow fail to grasp that by whiffing on the name of her product (whether intentionally or not), Paris got free advertising on all major TV networks as well as print and online outlets worldwide. What a doof!

Update!: Has Salon been reading The Bossman Cometh? Well, almost definitely not. But they did run this headline today: 'Paris Hilton, Secret Genius?'

Misinformation Addendum

2006-05-12T22:15:00.000-07:00

If you were tuning in to Fox News tonight, you got the 'B' team. John Kasich in place of Bill O'Reilly, Jim Angle instead of Brit Hume, and David Asman in pace of Neil Cavuto. But rest assured, the 'B' team is no less fact-challenged.

Tonight, viewers of Your World discovered that Texas is the largest state.

Mr. Asman, allow me to introduce you to the state of Alaska. Um, it's more than twice the size of Texas and has been a part of the United States for almost 50 years now. Now what wass that you were saying about immigration again?

The Aliens...

2006-05-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

...have arrived.

Fox News Continues to Misinform

2006-05-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Remember that University of Maryland study back in 2003 that found that Fox News viewers were more likely to have misconceptions about current events than viewers of the other networks?

Apparently that extends to sports as well...and Fox News' anchors. Maybe these guys are watching too much of their own programming.

Turned on the tube today to find Neil Cavuto interviewing Babe Ruth's granddaughter to determine how the Babe would feel about Barry Bonds approaching his career home run record. That's right...record. Now I know that Fox News is adept at ignoring and/or disparaging minorities in our country (unless they are part of the President's Cabinet), but wiping Hank Aaron and his 22-year career out of the Major League Baseball record books?

First off, I hate interviews like this. Granddchildren of sports heroes being interviewed as experts on their accomplishments and their feelings about the game. Babe Ruth died in 1948. I don't think his granddaughter had much of an opportunity to pick his brain about home runs. Might as well go with a biographer Neil, they're a little less biased and a little stronger with the facts. Showing bias and ignoring the facts, that's your job.

Case in point. During this particular inane interview, Cavuto refers to Barry Bonds breaking Ruth's 'record' probably a dozen times. The Babe's granddaughter never corrects him. They mention Aaron in passing, but continue to refer to Ruth as the record-holder. Then Cavuto goes on to ask whether the possibility of steroid use means that Bonds' record of '70' home runs in a season should also be wiped out. Neil, stick to your five-year Sisyphean struggle to convince the country that the economy is stronger than ever. At least with that you can cherry-pick your numbers.

Oh Boy!

2006-05-08T23:29:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted because I've been busy navigating the cutthroat San Francisco art world and posing as a music blogger to gain free entry to local clubs. For those of you that haven't seen my art exhibit or read my posts at the Noise Pop blog, shame on you. The exhibit closes this Friday, so get off your asses.

My last post was a giddy reaction to Bush's popularity problems. It's now two months later, and as expected, Bush's approval rating has rebounded sharply to 31%. But as Stephen Colbert points out, that means 69% of Americans approve of the job Bush isn't doing. Clearly Americans find comfort in knowing that our commander-in-chief never wavers no matter how tough the going gets. He's nothing if not stalwart and consistent. Take his certitude about his ability to choose CIA directors. To wit (courtesy of The Daily Show):

Bush on brand-spankin'-new CIA director-elect Gen. Michael Hayden (5/8/06): "He’s the right man to lead the CIA in this critical moment in our nation’s history."

Bush on Former CIA director Porter Goss, whom he appointed 18 months ago and forced out last week (8/10/04): "He's the right man to lead this important agency at this critical moment in our nation's history."

I suppose this means we can also feel good about the prospects of these guys:

Bush on Acting OMB Director Rob Portman (4/18/06): "The job of [Office of Management and Budget] director is a really important post, and Rob Portman is the right man to take it on."

Bush on C. Boyden Gray, Ambassador to the EU (1/25/06): "At this moment in history, Ambassador Gray is clearly the right man for the job."

Bush on Ben Bernanke, Fed Reserve Chairman (10/24/05): "Ben Bernanke is the right man to build on the record Alan Greenspan has established."

Bush on UN Ambassador John Bolton (8/1/05): "He is the right man for the job...This post is too important to leave vacant any longer."

Then there are these golden oldies:

Bush on Former Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge (11/25/02): "He's the right man for this new and great responsibility."

Bush on National Institutes of Health Director Dr. Elias A. Zerhouni (3/26/02): "Leading the NIH is a great responsibility, and I have picked the right man to do so."

And how about Former Chief of Staff Andy Card on his replacement Josh Bolten: "It is a different season, and Josh Bolten is the right person for that season."

Now maybe we know who was talking to Bush through that bulging device so cleverly tailored into his suits. Because we all know how confusing it can be for the President when he's spoken to directly.

Oh Boy!

2006-03-11T16:11:00.000-08:00

Bush's approval rating has apparently dropped to 38% in the latest poll (from AP/Ipsos). But the most heartening statistic is that 70% of Republicans think Iraq is descending into civil war. 70 PERCENT! OF REPUBLICANS!

There are some other interesting poll questions to be found on the page linked above as well.

Christmas Came a Little Late This Year

2006-02-15T17:08:00.000-08:00

Ho, ho, ho ho.

This utterance has found its way out of my belly, up my esophagus and out of my mouth many, many times this past week. Almost all of these occasions were somehow connected to the news that Dick Cheney had accidentally shot a 'hunting' partner, that the 'hunting' involved pulling up to the quail in cars, that the White House got busted trying to downplay or even outright squelch the story and that Cheney had 'a beer' before the incident (when has Cheney, or Bush for that matter, ever been able to stop at one?).

I have revelled in the late-night talk show mocking, the Daily Show half-embarrassed-at-how-easy-they-make-it needling and, best of all, the absolutely hilarious footage of press secretary Scott McClellan trying to deal with the increasing hostile and exasperated White House press corps.

Everyone needs to take eight minutes out of their day to watch this clip. You'll thank me, and yourself, later.

Listin'

2005-12-29T16:31:00.000-08:00

I don't know how anyone organizes their thoughts anymore with so much coming at us incessantly, like those cratered space rocks in Asteroids. I was never all that good at that particular game, presumably due to the same poor reflexes and lack of hand-eye coordination that doomed my chances to be the next Bo Jackson or Michael Jordan. Is poor hand-eye coordination to blame for my lack of progress in life as well?

With the barrage of sensory stimulation coming from TV, the Web, my iPod, my cell phone (it has the Web, a walkie-talkie and a camcorder!), and the world at large, the only way I have found to cope is to make endless lists in lieu of actually performing the tasks on the lists.

The end of December is the time for listing. After all, Santa makes a list, kids make out Christmas lists, parents make shopping lists and everyone creates lists of the best worst and most pointless sensory stimulation from the past year.

In addition to making these lists, I read other people's lists, find fault with them and endeavor to make my own list to better their list. Making lists comes easy to me, as it does to most people.

My good friend Terrence makes lists for a living, lucky bastard.

List is one of those words that means two completely different things, almost as if 'true' could also mean 'false'. I could list my tasks for the day as a way to organize my life. Or I could stray from a set path, listing off to one side or the other.

Around this time each year, people make a list of New Year's resolutions to set their listing lives back on course.

I think my New Year's resolutions will be two:

1. Stop listing

2. Continue listing

The Best Ever?

2005-08-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

Florida Marlins rookie Jeremy Hermida should retire at 21. Right now he would have perfect career numbers and a case to make that he is the best player ever in the majors.

You see, tonight he hit a grand slam in his very first at-bat in the bigs. According to the Baseball Almanac, only one other player has done that, Bill Dugglesby in 1898. But Dugglesby couldn't let well enough alone and went on to mediocritize what started out as a perfect career.

What more do you have to prove Hermida? Why take the risk? There's nowhere to go from here but down.

Wait, why are you pulling on the batting gloves again?! Hold up buddy, I won't let you do this to yourself.

Hey come back here! There's nothing for you in that batter's box.

No! Don't swing that bat! Arrgghhh!

The Bossman Liveth

2005-08-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I have just returned from a month-long sabbatical in Outer Mongolia, far from the requisite wireless hotspots needed to share with you my daily joys.

I have returned to find the A's offense back in a funk (certainly not one of my joys). Last time, I got results by demanding Ken Macha's job. So let's try that one again.

Meanwhile, the Giants have resorted to holding a different theme night for every ethnic group in the City to boost attendance. It's pretty sad, though I do find myself a little curious as to what Italian Heritage night at SBC Park might look like.

In other news, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers play at week's end with the Black Crowes at the Greek Theatre in Berkeley. My good friend Terrence Goodwin III in New York says if I miss this show that I'll never be welcome in the same room with him again.

In other news, Kanye West releases a new album next week. And as if we needed another reason to like this guy, in a recent MTV interview he calls for an end to discriminating against gays, especially in rap music. He admits to doing so himself in the past, talks about why he did it, and explains why he was wrong. Far more courageous for a rapper than it was for Eminem to perform with Elton John.

Meanwhile, the Republican party is splintering in terms of support for George W.'s war. Republican Senator Chuck Hagel is speaking out a lot lately, showing himself to be among the rapidly growing majority of Americans who now believe that we have ourselves mired in another Vietnam. And, of course, Bush continues to echo Johnson and Nixon, arguing we should 'stay the course'.

W. compared the war on terror to a World War the other day. So we're trying to fight the Iraq War and Vietnam at the same time? And even start to talk tough with Iran? Seems like these conflicts are getting a bit more serious than how they were originally sold to us.

Leave the Lists to VH1!

2005-06-17T13:46:00.000-07:00

The Discovery Channel's list of the 100 Greatest Americans has been winnowed down to five, as of yesterday.

George Washington
Abraham Lincoln
Martin Luther King Jr.
Benjamin Franklin
and...
Ronald Reagan

First of all, let's just pretend that Ronald Reagan doesn't have a chance to be voted Greatest American, because I believe I read somewhere that this is the sixth sign of the apocalypse.

Let's pretend instead that Matt Lauer had announced a more deserving candidate like say, George Wallace or Spiro Agnew.

No, even better, someone FAR more deserving like Thomas Paine, Walt Whitman (a writer!), Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Harry Truman, Jonas Salk, Mark Twain, Jackie Robinson, Cesar Chavez, Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton, Tennessee Williams, Emily Dickinson, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Ida B. Wells, Frederick Douglass, Vint Cerf, Robert Kahn, Francis Crick, James Watson, Henry Ford, Philo Farnsworth, Thelonious Monk, Jim Thorpe, Walt Disney, Lucille Ball, Orville Wright, Wilbur Wright, Meriwether Lewis, William Clark or Nikola Tesla.

Or hey, how about someone cool like Richard Pryor or Hunter S. Thompson?

...No, I'm serious. Thompson deserves it solely on the basis of his obituary for Richard Nixon.

All of these people should have made the Top 100 (other than Agnew and Wallace) rather than people like George H.W. and George W. Bush, Barbara Bush, Laura Bush (maybe the former librarian would like to cede her spot to Walt Whitman or Tennessee Williams?), Tom Cruise, Oprah, Michael Moore, Dr. Phil, Rush Limbaugh, Mel Gibson and Billy Graham. Oops, did I mistakenly click over to the Top 100 American Egomaniacs List?

And from whence came Brett Favre, Barack Obama, John Edwards, Michael Jackson, Tom Hanks, Rudy Giuliani, Ellen De Generes, Hillary Clinton, George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Jackie O, Madonna, Donald Trump, Pat Tillman, Joseph Smith, Arnold Schwartzenegger, Richard Nixon!!!, Martha Stewart, Sam Walton, Christopher Reeve, Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice?

I'll also have to take issue with the inclusion of many others like Marilyn Monroe, Maya Angelou, Neil Armstrong (enough with the pilots and astronauts!), Albert Einstein (Is he German, Swiss or American?), Clint Eastwood, Bill Gates (maybe Cerf & Kahn instead, at least they didn't spend the last decade impeding progress), Lyndon Johnson, Audie Murphy and Rosa Parks (better to give her spot to Ida B. Wells).

Now that I've voiced my objections to 43 of the 100 that the Discovery Channel picked, I'd like to say congrats on picking 57 decent candidates. In school we used to call that a failing grade.

Or as Top Ten Greatest American George W. Bush used to call it...reason to celebrate.

300/300 Club grows by 50%? 75%?!

2005-06-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

Non-baseball geeks tune out now...

It is looking very possibly that baseball's 300/300 Club (comprised of players with at least 300 career home runs and 300 career stolen bases) may go from four to six by season's end.

Los Angeles Angel of Anaheim Steve Finley is almost a lock to join Barry and Bobby Bonds, Willie Mays and Andre Dawson as long as he stays healthy enough to hit 8 more home runs this season.

Itinerant left fielder Reggie Sanders, who many thought might fall short, seems destined for the club as well, needing 8 more stolen bases (he has 9 so far this season) and 17 more home runs (he has 12 so far this season) to become the sixth member of the club.

Now if The Rickey can just hit 3 home runs for a major league club before season's end...

A New Hope

2005-05-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

I saw Revenge of the Sith the other night -- and, boy, are those Jedi stupid. For such wise and insightful beings they sure do botch up every single decision they make. Who can blame Darth Skywalker for hitching his wagon to some craggy, deformed dictator guy? Hey wait! Are the Jedi supposed to be the U.N.?! And is Sam Jackson supposed to be Kofi Annan?! Goddamn that George Lucas neoconservative bastard.

On a lighter note, the premiere issue of Radar magazine has hit stands and it is...funny. It's got a bit of Entertaiment Weekly, a bit of Maxim, a bit of old-school Onion, and a bit of McSweeney's, all smeared with the fingerprints of gossip websites like Gawker and Defamer. Highlights of the inaugural issue: An industry poll on the dumbest, meanest and vainest news anchors; a chart outlining the keys to becoming famous in several entertainment industries by doing nothing at all; and the Jaws-esque snark attack that is 'Radar's Guide to the Beach'. From what I have read so far, this new rag looks promising.

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Seen

2005-05-19T01:50:00.000-07:00

Found on Yahoo! News:

If winning is everything, British anthropologists have some advice: Wear red. Their survey of four sports at the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens shows competitors were more likely to win their contests if they wore red uniforms or red body armor.

"Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," report Russell A. Hill and Robert A. Barton of the University of Durham in England. Their findings are in Thursday's issue of the journal Nature.

Red coloration is associated with aggression in many animals. Often it is sexually selected so that scarlet markings signal male dominance.

Just think of the red stripes on the scowling face of the male Mandrill, Africa's largest monkey species. But red is not exclusively a male trait. It's the female black widow spider that is venomous and displays a menacing red dot on her abdomen.

Similarly, the color's effect also may subconsciously intimidate opponents in athletic contests, especially when the athletes are equal in skill and strength, the researchers suggest.
In their survey, the anthropologists analyzed the results of four combat sports at the summer games: boxing, tae kwon do, Greco-Roman wrestling and freestyle wrestling.

In those events, the athletes were randomly assigned red protective gear and other sportwear.

Athletes wearing red gear won more often in 16 of 21 rounds of competition in all four events.

The effect was the same regardless of weight classes, too: 19 of 29 classes had more red winners, and only four rounds had more blue winners.

The red effect also might come into play in team sports.

The anthropologists made a preliminary analysis of the Euro 2004 international soccer tournament, in which teams wore jerseys of different colors in different matches. They found that five teams scored more goals and won more often when they wore shirts that were predominantly red, as opposed to blue or white jerseys.

Scientists don't precisely known how wearing red might give athletes an advantage. But the color delivers implicit messages of vigor and danger. When people get angry, their faces turn red. It's also a reason why stop signs are red. So are most Ferraris.

A case can perhaps be made that most of the recent winners of U.S. sports championships have at least a touch of red on their uniforms: among pro teams, the Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, the Detroit Pistons. And in college sports, the USC Trojans.

But it's the gracious sport of golf that offers the best example. Tiger Woods wears an iconic red shirt on Sundays, the day when most tournaments are won.

Saving Up To Buy SackaMacha.com

2005-05-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

Maybe I shouldn't have gotten so cocky about the outcome of the A's/Red Sox series. Though it appears the A's are turning a corner, they are still saddled with some sketchy relief and more importantly, one of the worst managers in baseball.

Ken Macha never looks worried. Sure he may pace a bit, but his expression really doesn't change whether Matt Watson is driving in the game-winning runs (last night), or Juan Cruz is walking the bases full (in his THIRD inning of work tonight).

What I'm getting at here is maybe he should be worried. His team can't score runs. The Red Sox can (despite the 13 they stranded on Monday). Sure his bullpen is a bit depleted with Duchscherer and Calero out, but did Macha really think he was making a winning move by bringing Juan Cruz out for a third inning of work in the eighth? He had Rincon and Huston Street to go to. Street throws strikes and has allowed more than one run in only 1 of his 18 appearances. Cruz has allowed more than one run in 4 of 12 appearances. He had gone to a third inning only once this season -- and guess what -- he gave up four runs, two earned. This is the kind of thing that the fan at home, or in the stands, knows will be a disaster, but is powerless to stop. How many times have you seen a late-game reliever retire the side in his third inning of work? OK, now how many times have you seen that type of guy get lit up in his third inning of work? This isn't rocket science, here.

The previous night Macha brought in Keichi Yabu in relief (who proceeded to get shelled) despite the fact that he was due to start on Thursday. Now I don't necessarily fault Macha for that, but it doesn't jive with his move tonight. Is he looking to win now, or is he making sure his bullpen doesn't get worn out early in the week? Does he even know which he is doing? Is there a small mouse at the controls inside his head like Captain Murphy in Sealab 2021? These are questions we need answered, people.

A's Get Whiff of Victory

2005-05-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Kevin Millar stood at the plate in the bottom of the ninth inning, with Trot Nixon on first. The A's and closer Octavio Dotel were just one out away from a win, but the situation seemed all too familiar, and not in a good way. You see, just six days earlier, toward the beginning of Oakland's losing streak which at present stood at eight, Dotel had been called upon to close out a 2-1 game with Boston, and instead found himself a spectator, watching Millar' batted ball soar over Fenway's Green Monster -- a walk-off home run. The next night, he would watch Jason Varitek's batted ball do the same.

This was a big deal, because A's leads have not been easy to come by so far this season. They rank last in the major leagues in runs scored (which is especially bad since the National League teams must bat their pitchers) and last in batting average (.238, an average worthy of a trip to the minors). It's remarkable, given these statistics, that the A's had managed to win 14 games (out of 37). You can chalk that up to a semi-respectable 4.54 team ERA. But now with staff ace Rich Harden sidelined for at least two weeks and solid middle reliever Justin Duchscherer complaining of back pain, a series with the Red Sox could not have come at a worse time, even it was in Oakland.

But very little of this was going through the mind of Kevin Millar, original Boston Idiot of 'Cowboy Up' fame, as he dug into the batter's box. Oakland had taken the lead in the eighth on a two-RBI single by rookie callup Matt Watson. There's little doubt that Millar had a game-tying home run in mind. Instead Dotel got him to ground into what should have been a routine play at first, but ended up an error. The story of the A's season.

But then again, a game-tying home run it was not, and that had to -- and did --count for something. Dotel managed to strand Millar and close out the 6-4 victory for the A's, only their second the their last 14 games against the Red Sox. More importantly, the eight-game losing streak was over.

Tonight, Barry Zito takes on Matt Clement and I'm feeling pretty good about it. Nothing pleases me more than winning a close one against the Red Sox and their annoying fans, and I'm feeling at least one more, if not a sweep. I think the A's are back on the scent of victory. One good whiff was all they needed.

Coachella!

2005-05-02T23:02:00.000-07:00

Signs near the entrance to the Coachella Music and Arts Festival warned concertgoers that a documentary was being filmed and that by entering you were agreeing that your image could be used in the movie. It seemed a pointless gesture, capturing the sixth installment of the festival for posterity's sake. Really, Woodstock this was not. But by the end of the festival's second day, I was wondering when that documentary might be available, so I might check out the footage of The Arcade Fire's -- hold on while I consult the thesaurus -- electrifying, mindblowing, astonishing, overpowering -- and ultimately indescribable set.

The Arcade Fire topped my list of acts to see at the festival, not only because I was -- hold for the thesaurus again -- enchanted, capitvated, enraptured by their debut album, Funeral, but more because I failed to bribe my way in to see them at The Great American Music Hall last time they came to San Francisco. I figured seeing them at Coachella would be a salve for that stinging wound. In actuality, it just made it sting all the worse.

Michael and I had spent the previous two days drinking and whatnot*, sleeping just a few hours the first night in a posh, but noisy West Hollywood hotel room and not much more the next in the front seats of a rented Dodge Durango, so I wasn't sure come noon on Sunday if I would even be conscious for The Arcade Fire's evening performance. But the human body is surprisingly resilient sometimes, and this, lucky for us, was one of those times. Any lethargy that remained entrenched in my body was shaken free the moment the eight-piece Montreal juggernaut took the stage and all began belting out the first measures of the tune that starts all of their shows, appropriately titled "Wake Up".

The Arcade Fire played with a feverous energy that was unrivaled at the festival. Richard Parry and Will Butler pounded away on a drum, cymbals and a motorccyle helmet on the front right side of the stage before climbing the scaffolding to test the pitch of the steel thirty feet above the stage with their drumsticks. Will cut his hand on the climb and played the rest of the show while intermittently sucking on his bleeding fingers and wiping the blood with a towel. The group's string section spend much of the show on the other side of the stage head butting each other. The band tore through most of the songs on Funeral and added "No Cars Go" from their eponymous 2003 EP. Lead singer Win Butler, though agitated by some equipment issues, was still inspired enough to dive into the crowd and then later end the set by hurling his wireless mic 150 feet into the mass of about 4000 adoring fans.

You can check out some pictures here and here.

Oh yeah, and great performances were also turned in by Wilco, Spoon, Black Star, The Secret Machines and Immortal Technique. I also quite liked Sage Francis, who strode out on stage looking like a hip-hop Fidel Castro, though Michael responded by saying I was crazy.

* Please DON'T use your imaginations here, just let it go.

Casing the Promised Land

2005-04-27T16:01:00.000-07:00

My mind veers over to the freeway today. Could be hallucinations beginning to set in after five days of looking at the same walls, staircases, hardwood floors and furniture.

In two days, I'll be hitting the six-lane blacktop with Michael Shaw (who some of you may know as the lead guitarist for erstwhile Bay Area rockers Petrol and The Aktion) down to the high desert, out to Joshua Tree and Coachella. As one might expect, there is much mischief and regrettable rock 'n roll behavior in the works.

So today I have music running through my head non-stop. Road songs. The Louvin Brothers' Cash on the Barrelhead, Gram Parsons' Return of the Grievous Angel, Modern Lovers' Roadrunner and Ride On Down the Highway, Hank Williams' Lost Highway and Ramblin' Man, hell, even the Allman Brothers' Ramblin' Man. Townes Van Zandt's Pancho and Lefty, Tom Waits' Ol' 55 and several of the songs off of The Heart of Saturday Night, Springsteen's Thunder Road, Little Feat's Willin' and Truckstop Girl, The Rolling Stones' Moonlight Mile and No Expectations and their version of Route 66. Alex Chilton and The Box Tops doing The Letter, Marvin Gaye's Hitch Hike, Doug Sahm's Is Anybody Going to San Antone?, Clarence White's flatpick guitar version of I Am a Pilgrim and Steve Earle's version too. Deep Purple's Highway Star, The Edgar Winter Group's Free Ride, Talking Heads' Road to Nowhere and The Kinks' Life on the Road. And, one of my favorites, Cheri Knight's somebody-else-is-going-on-the-road-song Wagon of Clay.

Brilliant traveling songs all.

Some with brilliantly simple lyrics like those in Roadrunner:

It helps me from being alone late at night/
It helps me from being lonely late at night/
Don't feel so bad now in the car/
Don't feel so alone, got the radio on/
Like the roadrunner/

I've got the world, I've got the turnpike/
I've got the power of the AM/
I've got rock 'n roll late at night/

Or like the poetic strains of Wagon of Clay:

If I could ride, I would follow you now/
My horses would fly overhead/
I'd keep you sewn to a ribbon of road/
Weave you around in the end

Or the astral dreamweaving of Return of the Grievous Angel:

The news I could bring, I met up with The King/
On his head an amphetamine crown/
Talked about unbuckling that old Bible Belt/
And lighted out for some desert town/
Out with the truckers, and the kickers and the cowboy angels/
And a good saloon in every single town/

Or the mock indignation of Ray Davies' Life on the Road:

When I arrived in Euston/
I was little more than a child/
And I didn't know then that the dives and the dens/
Would be so vulgar and wicked and wild/

Or the grease-smudged genius of Springsteen:

Well now, I ain't no hero, that's understood/
All the redemption I can offer, girl, is beneath this dirty hood/
With a chance to make it good somehow/
Hey, what else can we do now?/
Except roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair/
Well, the night's busting open, these two lanes will take us anywhere/
We got one last chance to make it real/
To trade in these wings on some wheels/
Climb in back, heaven's waiting on down the tracks/
Oh oh, come take my hand/
We're riding out tonight to case the promised land/

And though it's not a road song, at this moment my anxious soul is singing along with Paul Westerberg and The Replacements -- "Anywhere is Better Than Here".

Cabin Fever!

2005-04-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

The walls of my formerly spacious apartment are beginning to close in on me. I have only worked two days in the last two weeks and have resorted to relentlessly harassing everyone I know -- people that are far busier than I.

Rock 'N Roll Road Trip(TM) Mach II to Coachella next weekend cannot come soon enough.

But I have been doing a lot of writing lately, though not so much on the blog, as you no doubt have noticed. I may also have found a new writing partner in an old, familiar corner of my world. I've bought my old typewriter back out of hock, dusted it off and oiled the keys (OK, I didn't actually oil the keys...or buy it back out of hock) as it is time to launch a letter writing campaign against Apple. I will not flag nor fail until I have a new iPod. And maybe a few of you will get a long-awaited response to some long-forgotten letter. Rest easy Terrence, I have not forgotten you, old chum. It'll be mai-tais and iTunes as soon as we've seen victory!

From Rags to Bitches

2005-04-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

It seems like you can't open up a newspaper or magazine, or click over to your favorite online news source, without running across the increasingly popular article taking a competitor to task. This is a trend that needs to stop. Not only does it seem like so much middle school gossip, but it really does the media consumer very little to no good.

As many of you can tell, I like to read Salon.com, but last week, Salon writer Eric Boehlert felt the need to take it upon himself to critique Time magazine's front-page piece on the unholiest of unholies, Ann Coulter. Sure we all get a little fired up sometimes that a magazine like Time devotes ink to idiots like Ann Coulter, who so clearly thrive on creating hype around themselves, but blowing off that steam is what personal blogs are for -- we need to keep it out of publications like Salon.

But, of course, Salon is not the only rag guilty of such behavior. SF Weekly loves to rag on The Bay Guardian, the Bay Guardian loves to rag on the Chron, Fox News loves to rag on the New York Times, The New York Post loves to rag on the Times. The list goes on and on. Can't these publications assert their superiority to their competitors by, say, using that energy and column space to run tough, well-researched investigative pieces on corporate criminals or government malfeasance? Or maybe run an extra interview with an up-and-coming local band, playwright or author?

The writer on Time's Ann Coulter story had little troubling rebutting many of Eric Boehlert's accusations in a letter to the editor, found here. After reading both the article and the writer's response AND Eric Boehlert's lame response to the writer's response: 'I stand by my story.' I felt like I had wasted twenty minutes of my life watching some stupid playground fight. We can do better, people.

P.S. You may need to get a Salon Day Pass to access both links in this post. But come on, all you have to do is watch a quick commercial. You can pretend you're Jeff Gannon -- the King of the Day Pass.

You make-a me soooo mad!

2005-04-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

My iPod honeymoon's over. The other day it slipped out of my hands and -- crack! -- the LCD screen broke on my hardwood floor. Now I can just see enough to execute the shuffle function. Turns out, they don't have such good warranties on these things! In fact, as far as I can tell, there's no way to get accidental damage coverage. And Apple charges hundreds of dollars for LCD repair (just about the price of a new iPod). Damn you Apple!!

A quick google search reveals no shortage of user complaints about Apple's warranty, service and customer service -- and, yes, a class-action suit.

Maybe I've found my next big case.

Bossman at One with The Cosmos

2005-04-07T13:40:00.000-07:00

For the last two mornings, I've woken literally seconds before my alarm was set to go off. This must mean something. I like to think it means I am at one with the cosmos, firing on all cylinders. In any case, I am rolling.

It was a beautiful thing watching the A's roll to a 9-0 victory at Camden Yards yesterday. Fifth starter Kirk Saarloos hurled six innings of one-hit ball and Eric Chavez and Nick Swisher launched homers. To top it off, rookie Huston Street made Sammy Sosa his first strikeout victim. Maybe the A's stars are aligned for a long overdue playoff run -- despite the loss of Hudson and Mulder. Or maybe I'm feeling just a little too heady lately. We'll see when I wake up tomorrow morning.

Bossman, Attorney At Law

2005-04-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

Bossman 1, Downtown Lawyers 0.

Yesterday I received a check in the mail for $1286, what is left of my severance from The Industry Standard after the suits and the IRS took their share. A three-and-a-half-year wait and the day has finally come -- after a bit of bullshitting, some cloak-and-dagger shit and a whole lot of patience.

It's got me so fired up, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do: anyone who mentions this post while in my company at a bar will receive the drink of their choice*, on me. Don't say reading The Bossman Cometh never did you any good. And anyone who mentions this post while in my presence, and the presence of a coke dealer, gets a gram of coke, on The Boss**. It's time to celebrate our small victories over The Man!

Meanwhile, I'm gonna get to hanging my shingle: Bossman, Attorney At Law. And in case you were wondering, I learned a lot of Latin phrases while researching my legal brief, but 'pro bono' was not one of those phrases.

*If the liquor bottle is on a shelf that stands higher off the ground than Claire Torchia, forget about it. Except you Claire, you can have whatever you want. Limit one drink per household. Employees of The Bossman Cometh definitely not excluded.

**The Boss, in this instance, is definitely not Jeff P$#^&%@ (named blacked out for security purposes).

Taxonomize Your Revolution!

2005-04-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

The pre-launch party for Al Gore's new media project, IndTV, was billed as a revolution in televised media, the creation of a station for the people by the people, where the youth of America would be able to raise its voice to the rafters without the pesky influence of corporate sponsorship or big-money power-jockeying. And if you thought that last sentence was was a run-on, you should have heard some of the breathless ramblings of the night's speakers and poets.

Grating poet Aya de Leon spoke of the youth finally getting a voice, and how that could change the course of history -- as if the same things weren't said by many of their parents (now running the hated mainstream media) 30 years before in the very same city.

Michael Franti said the launch didn't need a corporate sponsor, that it was sponsored by "the good people of San Francisco". Moments later, Mos Def asked the crowd to check out a collaboration between the nascent IndTV and Google, apparently not considered a corporation. A young woman on the screen wowed the crowd with such revolutionary tidbits as the top ten most searched for movies on Google and the top ten searches that start with the word 'illegal'. A few punks in their early teens heckled the video from a parking garage above the crowd.

Meanwhile, Mos Def (why Mos!?, why!?) moved to the other stage where he began by confusing the hometown of the painter he introduced as one of his favorites. Then the big moment: the emergence of a chubby-looking Al Gore, an even chubbier-looking Leonardo DiCaprio and the relatively svelte-looking San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, whom Mos Def seemed to confuse with chubby actor/celebrijournalist Sean Penn.

At this point, I too became confused as to what I was doing here when 24 was on in an hour.

Quote of the Week!

2005-03-25T22:57:00.000-08:00

From our old friend Bill O'Reilly at the Fair and Balanced Network (Thursday, March 24):

"It's amazing to me that so many Americans believe rumors, innuendo and accusations that are unproven but agree with their opinion, and that's happening in the Schiavo case on both sides. The No-Spin Zone is set up to knock that kind of stuff down, and I believe (ed.: Is this an opinion, Bill?) we've been doing that fairly and accurately."

It's so mindboggling I cannot (and need not) comment on it any further.

Must See (to Believe) TV!

2005-03-20T18:51:00.001-08:00

I've been getting a lot of laughs out of the Tee-Vee these days -- in between NCAA tournament basketball games, of course.

Why just the other day, I was on the Intra-net when I read about a new study released by the Project for Excellence in Journalism (at Columbia), which found that while Fox News was quite straightforward with their sourcing, they were the least objective cable news outlet by a wide margin when you considered how many stories include the anchor's personal opinion. Now I'm not naive enough to believe that these are their actual opinions anyway, rather than what will keep Murdoch happy, keep the books selling and keep the American public riled up. Anyway, I'm off an a tangent.

I turned on the tube to find Bill O'Reilly reporting on the study and, guess what...focusing only on the positives about Fox News. Too bad the study didn't look at cherrypicking as well.

But back in the world of sane people (or maybe I should say socially and politically aware people) I have to recommend a show I saw for the first time today. For those of you sick of Leonard Maltin and whoever that woman is who raves about shit Hollywood movies with him, or for those of you that think Ebert is getting soft, you might want to check out Henry Rollins' movie review show on IFC. It's hilarious at times, and more serious at other times, but entertaining throughout. He curses up a storm about watered-down sequels, flips Hollywood the bird (literally), and then sits down and gives intelligent, informed reviews of a variety of movies with guests (today was Super Size Me director Morgan Spurlock). Rollins somehow manages to come across as an everyman while breaking down why a particular art house film is well cast. And it's Henry Rollins reviewing movies! Though I do think it would really kick ass if he did a Siskel and Ebert-type thing with Leonard Maltin. Just once before I die, I'd like to see Henry Rollins have Leonard Maltin in a headlock. Am I alone here?

That's all for now, but before I go I'd also like to do the blog version of jumping up and down clapping my hands like an excited little girl (in other words, you'll just have to picture it) -- Bernie Ebbers is guilty y'all!!!!! More on the new dangers of being a CEO to come.

Radio Free Fresno

2005-03-11T18:10:00.000-08:00

If you believed everything you heard on AM radio in the Central Valley, then you'd know that Satan has become a publisher of religious works; and the National Enquirer, the Star and Weekly World News are now considered legitimate journalistic enterprises.

The latter revelation comes to us courtesy of (who else?) Fox News Channel's John Gibson, filling in for his fair and balanced compadre Tony Snow on his syndicated talk radio program. Because these Fox guys just loooove irony, the story deals with Dan Rather and his reliance on questionable sources. So who does Gibson bring on to discuss Rather's (lack of) adherence to the journalist's code? Mike Walker, a writer for that beacon of reliable and unbiased news coverage the National Enquirer! Who needs The Daily Show and Saturday Night Live when you've got Fox News Channel? Gibson repeatedly refers to Walker as a journalist, while dismissing Rather as a biased hack with an axe to grind. "Yes," agrees the Enquirer's answer to Edward R. Murrow. Did I ever post anything about the study that showed Fox News' viewers are the most ill-informed on world issues? Now how could that have happened?!

And in other news, some fire and brimstone radio preacher who refers to himself as 'The Trailblazer' warns that Satan and his emissaries are setting the type for a new revised version of the Bible. If you want to avoid The Dark One's grip, you must buy the only true edition of the Good Book, the King James Bible, now available through The Trailblazer's own store. I haven't seen this kind of shameless book promotion since...well, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly!

What's the frequency Kenneth indeed.

Bossman from Phoenix, Part 2 -- A's Finally Win

2005-03-10T00:34:00.000-08:00

I got lost looking for Lo-Lo's Chicken & Waffles south of Downtown Phoenix (it was closed when I found it) and so I missed Rich Harden's first half-inning of work this spring. He pitched the second and third, however, giving up just two hits and no runs.

After watching the A's lose their first four, this is the game I've been waiting for. The pitching staff looked great with Harden, Kirk Sarloos, Ricardo Rincon, Kiko Calero and Huston Street combining for a shutout. Street impressed again by retiring the side in order. Throwing in the low 90s (I think, no gun in the park) with good movement, he made facing Luis Gonzalez, Troy Glaus and Shawn Green look easy.

On the offensive side, Eric Byrnes drove a double to right center in the first, bringing in three runs for the A's. Later Erubiel Durazo blasted one over the 410 marker in straightaway center at Phoenix Municipal Stadium. I think I may have been checking out a smoking hot blonde photographer down near the D-Back's dugout when the 5th and final run was scored.

I spent half the game hanging out with the Oakland bleacher crowd out by the A's bullpen as they shot the shit with Rincon and Kiko Calero. The other half I spent behind home plate with some newfound indie rocker/baseball statheads from the East Bay that I met two nights before at a rare Phoenix dive bar called the Yucca Tap Room.

The trip has been a great success, whether it was scoring a $43/night room at the Radisson (thanks cousin Jim) or meeting a former Giants player named Whitey Lockman at Durant's in downtown Phoenix (he let me check out his 1954 World Series ring), just about everything seemed to go right for me. I saw two good hip-hop shows (A-Team and Sage Francis); ate great food at Havana Cafe, Riazzo's and Durant's; and even got to check out Bank One Ballpark from the TGIF Fridays in left-center field. Who knew you could have a good time in Phoenix?